The 21st century has begun. What changes do you think this new century will bring? Use examples and details in your answer.
Sample Response
As we have already stepped into the 21st century, it is inevitably true that enormous changes like advances in technology, heath care, and transportation will be visibly experienced. This essay will highlight the beneficial growth in our health sector and transport system that is possible to be made available in the new generation. Development in the health care will be greatly observed in this century. First of all, the diagnosis of severe diseases will be straight-forward as a consequence of the presence of high technological apparatuses and innovative devices. Secondly, rehabilitation and cure to deadly illnesses will be less complicated, this is due to the constant research of the professionals like the medical team and scientists on the treatment like medicines, effective exercise, and healthy eating. Lastly, the percentage of deaths of the human beings will significantly decrease and therefore, the quality of life will enhance and chances of people to live longer will gradually rise. Another noticeable trend that we can look forward to in this era is the technological approach to transportation. Faster and more reliable transport system will be made available to the public at a cheaper price. Hence, people all over the world can step foot to the different diversity of each country close to a blink of an eye. A good example is the constant competition of the airline companies, therefore, decreasing their price range or offering a more reasonable package holidays to the mass public. In conclusion, there are several advantages that human beings will experience in the 21st century. Through vigorous experiments and knowledge learnt from the previous generations, people may expect a more convenient life such as able to live a longer and healthier as well travelling will less financial worry.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundant wording Original: inevitably true Suggested revision: inevitable Why it matters: "Inevitable" already expresses certainty, so "true" is unnecessary in this construction.
- 2. Fix the spelling Original: heath care Suggested revision: health care Why it matters: The missing letter changes the intended term for medical services.
- 3. Fix the collocation Original: will be visibly experienced Suggested revision: will occur Why it matters: Changes occur or are experienced, but they are not naturally described as being visibly experienced.
- 4. Use precise noun Original: beneficial growth Suggested revision: beneficial developments Why it matters: "Developments" fits predicted improvements in health and transport more precisely than "growth."
- 5. Use the time period Original: in the new generation Suggested revision: in this century Why it matters: A generation refers to people, whereas the essay is predicting changes during a century.
- 6. Remove the article Original: the health care Suggested revision: health care Why it matters: The general uncountable expression does not take the definite article here.
- 7. State the change directly Original: will be greatly observed Suggested revision: will advance significantly Why it matters: The original passive phrase describes observation rather than the predicted development itself.
- 8. Remove the hyphen Original: straight-forward Suggested revision: straightforward Why it matters: The adjective is conventionally written as one unhyphenated word.
- 9. Use natural terminology Original: high technological apparatuses Suggested revision: advanced technological equipment Why it matters: "Advanced equipment" is the natural collective expression for sophisticated medical devices.
- 10. Fix noun complements Original: rehabilitation and cure to deadly illnesses Suggested revision: treatment of and recovery from life-threatening illnesses Why it matters: Treatment applies to an illness and recovery occurs from it, so each noun requires its correct preposition.
- 11. Fix the agent phrase Original: constant research of the professionals Suggested revision: continuous research by professionals Why it matters: The preposition "by" correctly identifies the people conducting the research.
- 12. Clarify the examples Original: the treatment like medicines Suggested revision: treatments such as medication Why it matters: The plural category and "such as" correctly introduce medication and the other listed approaches as examples.
Suggested Rewrites
- inevitably true inevitable
- heath care health care
- will be visibly experienced will occur
- beneficial growth beneficial developments
- in the new generation in this century
- the health care health care
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response selects two relevant future changes and explains their possible benefits, with the health-care sequence providing the clearest development. Its main limitation is language control: frequent collocation, article, and sentence-structure errors make several predictions vague, and the absence of paragraphing weakens organisation. The priority is to present one focused paragraph per prediction, using direct future forms and precise examples of medical and transport advances.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Health care and transport are relevant predictions with some supporting detail, though parts of the explanation and the airline example remain general or unclear.
Give one concrete future development in each field and explain specifically how it would change people’s lives during this century.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves from health to transport and then concludes, but the single paragraph, mechanical sequencing, and long sentences weaken progression.
Separate the introduction, health prediction, transport prediction, and conclusion into distinct paragraphs with clearer internal topic development.
Lexical Resource
There is an adequate range of topic vocabulary and some less common items, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce precision.
Use natural phrases such as advances in health care, medical technology, treatment for serious illnesses, affordable transport, and package holidays.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied and complex structures, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, clause boundaries, and complementation sometimes obscure meaning.
Write shorter complete sentences and check articles and verb patterns, especially in the rehabilitation sentence and the final summary.
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