Parents often give children everything they ask for and do what they like. Is it good for children? What are the consequences when they grow up?
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Sample Response
Indulging children has become a common parenting problem in many modern families. From my perspective, this practice may create some immediate adverse effectsimpacts on children and also resultresults in long-term consequences for them.
In the short term, over-indulgence may cause a delay in children learningsome delay in the process of children learning important life skills. We can see this in a variety of age groups, ranging from toddlers to teenagers. For example, many overprotective parentsover-caring parents spoon-feed their children until they are five or six, the developmental stage in which they should have already been able to eat independently. Also, there is a common practice in our country that parents assist their preadolescent children in taking a bath or a shower. As a result, children may fail to acquire basic personal hygiene skills at the right time.
In the long run, the consequences are even more seriouseven direr as over-indulged children grow up. If parents unconditionally satisfy all their children’s needs, they may inadvertently make their children overly reliant on other peopleover-reliant on other people. When these children enter adulthood, the inability to live independently can cause difficulty maintainingsome difficulties for them to maintain their overall well-being; for instance, they may be unaware of what to do when they developcatch a fever. Furthermore, it is a norm that over-indulgent parents are lenient and do not require children to face the consequences of their misbehavior. In general, this deprives children of opportunities to learn from mistakesthe opportunities to learn from mistakes, which may cause their problem-solving skills to be severely lacking in the future.
From the issues outlined above, one can conclude that over-indulgence may produce a number of unfavourable effects on children, including the delay in gaining crucial life skills such as self-feeding and the long-term consequence of lacking the ability to cope with problems as adults in the future.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its clear progression from immediate effects to adult consequences, with specific examples that consistently support a firm negative view of over-indulgence. Its main limitation is occasional awkward or slightly imprecise phrasing, while the conclusion largely repeats earlier points. The highest-priority improvement is to refine collocations and make the final synthesis more concise and insightful.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers both questions directly and develops relevant short- and long-term consequences with specific support.
Add a slightly more explicit evaluation of why indulgence is harmful before moving into its consequences.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader without obscuring relationships.
Make the conclusion advance the discussion through synthesis rather than closely restating the body points.
Lexical Resource
A wide and generally precise vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, though a few collocations sound unnatural or over-elaborate.
Replace phrases such as difficulties for them to maintain their well-being with more natural, economical combinations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are handled with strong control, and the few grammatical slips do not impede meaning.
Check parallel verb forms carefully, particularly when a modal governs more than one coordinated verb.