Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world, people share the same fashions, advertising, brands, eating habits and TV channels. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of this?
Sample Response
Many aspects of culture and people's lifestyles are becoming increasingly similar throughout the world. Although this trend has some benefits, I would agree that the disadvantages are more significantnoteworthy. On the one hand, the global reach of fashion brands, similar eating habits and shared traditionssimilar traditions of people have some major benefits. For instance, Starbucks, the renowned coffee chain, has grown from a single outlet in Seattle to as many as 30,000 shops in around sixty countries. Nearly identical stores serve cups of coffee to hundreds and thousands of customers, no matter whether you are sipping it in New York, London, New Delhi, Melbourne or Istanbul. Thus, the globalThus the global business opportunity enables many brands to sell products worldwideall around the world. As a result, people can enjoy fashion, food and other products from diverse culturesaspects of diverse nationalities while staying in their home countrystaying at home country. A stronger bond can developA stronger bond could be observed among people no matter where they live as a consequence of their similar lifestyleslifestyle. Thus the differences among nations are diminishingreducing and this can help maintainthis is quite helpful in maintaining world peace. On the other hand, this trend has some seriousstriking disadvantages that we should be concernedcautious about. Firstly, the spread of globalized materialistic lifestylescross-cultural materialistic lifestyles and attitudes makes us less human and more selfish. For example, the role of TV advertisements by global brands, in most cases, is related to the concept of materialism. We are affected by extremeterminal materialism that forces us to buy things for the sake of buying, instead of buying for basic needs. Secondly, with the aggressive spread of market economies and communication technology, local cultures and values are in peril. The true identity and culture are in jeopardy under the influence of foreign cultureswith the influence of alien cultures and younger generations care less about theirthe new generation cares less about their history and tradition. In conclusion, it seems to me that the drawbacks of globalisation and the similar lifestyle of people due to the similar culture in the world far outweigh the few advantages it has.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay maintains a clear view that cultural homogenisation brings some commercial and social benefits but greater harms through materialism and loss of local identity. Its main ideas are relevant, yet several claims—especially the link to world peace—are asserted rather than demonstrated, and the single-block presentation weakens organisation. The priority is to develop one credible benefit and two well-supported disadvantages in separate paragraphs with more precise language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages and maintains a clear comparative position, but some benefits are loosely supported and the world-peace claim is overextended.
Explain a concrete consumer or cross-cultural benefit, then show explicitly why cultural loss and materialism have greater consequences.
Coherence and Cohesion
The advantages-to-disadvantages progression is recognisable and logically signposted, but presenting the entire essay as one paragraph seriously weakens organisation.
Use separate introduction, advantage, disadvantage, and conclusion paragraphs, each centred on one stage of the comparison.
Lexical Resource
There is a sufficient range for globalisation and culture, though inaccurate combinations such as 'terminal materialism,' 'staying at home country,' and 'differences are reducing' limit precision.
Use natural phrases such as 'excessive materialism,' 'without leaving their home country,' and 'differences between nations are diminishing.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences is used and meaning remains clear, but errors in articles, prepositions, agreement, pronoun reference, and clause phrasing recur.
Check reference and sentence construction carefully, for example 'People can enjoy products from other cultures without leaving their home country.'
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world, people share the same fashions, advertising, brands, eating habits and TV channels. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of this?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.