Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world, people share the same fashions, advertising, brands, eating habits and TV channels. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of this?
Sample Response
Differences among nations are becoming less perceptible these days as people all over the world are sharing the same lifestyles, technologies, fashions, foods, advertisements, and entertainment programmesthe same lifestyle, technology, fashion, foods, advertisements, and entertainment programmes. As a result, cultural identitiesidentity and traditions are in peril. This essay argues thatThe following essay advocates that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits of this trend. The first benefit of this trend is that international brands can produce goods on a mass scale, and manufacturing costs decreasethe manufacturing cost becomes cheaper. As a result, consumers can buyenjoy the advantage of buying products from global brands at affordable pricesat an affordable price. Secondly, people all over the world have access to the same culinary experiencesshare the same culinary experience, and therefore haveand that is why they have more food options than ever before. For example, people around the globe can now purchase food based on their preference, whether it is Chinese, Indian or Western food or brands. Furthermore, this trend reduces cultural barriersreduces the cultural barrier and brings people together on a common platformbrings people under a common platform where people will have greater knowledge of and respect formore knowledge and respect about other nations and their customs. HoweverOn the contrary, the globalisation of the fashion, entertainment and culinary industries has some serious negative effectsindustries have some severe negative sides. First, many people abandon their cultural values because of this trenddue to this, which weakens national identityhurts the identity of a country. Besides, foreign television shows have a negative influence on young peoplenegative influences on young people. Many global TV channels, for example, show programmes that are insensitivesensitive to other cultures. However, as these shows are easily accessible nowadays, many young people follow them, and as a consequence, adopt a unacceptable lifestyles and choicesnon-acceptable lifestyle and life choices. In conclusion, the globalisation of fashion, advertising, culinary and entertainment products hashave both advantages and disadvantages. But, carefully considering both, I strongly feel that it has more negative effects than positive aspects.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response establishes a clear judgment and presents several relevant benefits and drawbacks of global cultural convergence, with effective vocabulary for the topic. Its principal weakness is that the disadvantages supporting the final position are less fully explained and the whole essay is presented as one paragraph; the highest priority is to organise the discussion into distinct paragraphs and develop why the stated cultural harms outweigh the benefits.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the outweigh question clearly and discusses both sides, although the disadvantages central to its position receive limited development.
Explain the scale or consequences of cultural loss in greater depth so the final judgment is fully demonstrated rather than mainly asserted.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a sensible sequence and uses clear signposting, but the absence of paragraph breaks obscures the major stages of the discussion.
Create separate paragraphs for the benefits, disadvantages, and conclusion, and reduce reliance on formulaic transition phrases.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of topic vocabulary, but several imprecise or unnatural choices weaken clarity, including wording about sensitive programmes and non-acceptable lifestyles.
Choose exact collocations and verify that key adjectives express the intended meaning, especially when describing cultural effects.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex sentences is used with generally good control, despite occasional agreement, article, and punctuation errors.
Check subject-verb agreement in long noun phrases and avoid unnecessary commas after coordinating conjunctions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world, people share the same fashions, advertising, brands, eating habits and TV channels. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of this?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.