Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions would you suggest?
Sample Response
Smoking is an expensive habit which pollutes the environment and carries serious health risk, yet a third of the men in the world smoke. It is also a sad fact that one in five teenagers take up the habit when they are as young as 11. Of course, there is one interest group, the tobacco industry, which is more than happy with this situation, since its profits depend on our addiction to cigarettes.
These statistics are particularly depressing because the link between smoking and cancer, heart disease and other serious illnesses has been known for many years. We must also remember that apart from harming the individual, smoking represents a huge cost to society. The money we spend on treating smoking-related diseasesdisease could be used for more beneficial purposesmuch better purposes, such as helping to feed the world’s poor or paying for medical research.
Why, then, despite all the evidenceSo why, despite all the evidence, do people still smoke? The obvious answer is that cigarettes are highly addictive, which can make quitting extremely difficultso that it can be extremely difficult to give up. Another factor is peer pressureAnother answer is the power of peer pressure, especially amongst young people. In my view, the most important thing is to discourage people from starting to smoke, and we could do this bybe increasing taxes on tobaccothe tax on tobacco and banning cigarette advertising. I also feel that people who want to quit should be given as much advice and support as possible.
In conclusion, I believe that we should do everything we can to reduce the number of smokers in society. However, it is not enough to provide information about health risks; we also needhealth risks, we also need to use a variety of strategies to tackle the problem.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is fluent, well organised, and particularly effective in explaining the health and social costs that make smoking a serious concern. The main limitation is that substantial space is devoted to why people smoke, while the proposed solutions receive comparatively brief development. The highest-priority improvement is to replace that tangential explanation with fuller detail about implementation, enforcement, and the likely effects of each suggested measure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both required parts are addressed with relevant ideas, but the unrequested discussion of causes limits the development of solutions.
Use the third paragraph to explain how taxation, advertising restrictions, and cessation support would be implemented and effective.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has clear overall progression and cohesive paragraphing, although one paragraph shifts from causes to solutions without a fully focused controlling idea.
Give causes and solutions separate paragraph roles, or omit the causes so each paragraph advances an explicit task requirement.
Lexical Resource
A broad and precise vocabulary conveys health, economic, and policy ideas naturally, with only minor lapses.
Maintain this range while checking small collocational and form choices such as singular versus plural risk expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex sentences are handled with strong control, though a few noticeable errors occur in agreement, prepositions, and punctuation.
Proofread for isolated slips such as subject-verb agreement, by versus be, and comma splices between independent clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions would you suggest?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.