The overuse of natural resources causes an ultimate exhaust of them. People have been using them to be in the swim of new styles such as making new furniture of recent design. This causes a huge harm to the environment. Therefore, the government should discourage people the overuse of these resources. To what extent do you support or oppose the idea?
This response is estimated at Band 5.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
Nowadays, many peopleNowadays many people contendexpress a contention that natural resources will have been used up by the end of the century. However, others do not share this concern and keep buying luxuryluxurious items which are far from being environmentally friendly. There is no doubt that measures must be takensome measures have to be taken to save the environment. Some people think that the government is capablethink that government is capable of solving this problem by discouraging the overconsumption of natural resourcesoverconsumption of the natural resources. I strongly believe that to be effective, this measureto be effective this measure should be accompanied by the development of new technologiesaccompanied by developing new technologies.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response states a clear qualified position: government action to reduce overconsumption should be combined with technological development. Its strongest feature is concise, generally controlled language. However, at only 89 words it is far below the required length and provides no developed reason, example, policy mechanism, or conclusion. Prioritise expanding this thesis into two body paragraphs explaining how government discouragement and new technology would conserve resources, supported by concrete examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A relevant position is stated, but the response is severely underlength and contains no developed argument, supporting example, or conclusion.
Explain one government measure and one technological solution in full body paragraphs, showing how each would reduce resource depletion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The short sequence moves logically from the problem to a qualified thesis, but it never develops beyond an introductory paragraph.
Build a complete essay structure with two body paragraphs and a conclusion that restates the supported position.
Lexical Resource
The limited sample includes some appropriate environmental vocabulary, although phrases such as ‘express a contention’ are unnatural.
Use clear, precise terms such as ‘resource depletion’, ‘excessive consumption’, ‘regulation’, and ‘sustainable technology’ across developed examples.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The five sentences show generally sound control and some complex structures, with minor article and phrasing issues.
Maintain this control in a full-length response while checking articles in phrases such as ‘the government’ and ‘natural resources’.