Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Arts reflect the heritage of a country and depict the creativity of an individual. While many believe that financing in arts is a wastage of money, I am of the opposite view as I believe that financing in arts is a good idea for the government. Many people think that diverting funds towards arts hamper the well-being of citizens and the development of the nation. For example, available monetary resources, according to them, could be put to use in building more hospitals, roads, schools and developing other infrastructures. This means increasing care of the sick and improved transportation to previously inaccessible areas. For children, it caters for better education facilities. These people believe that art is a luxury and many governments cannot afford this extravagance. However, while investments in such areas are vital, spending on arts is equally important. Allocating money to the development and sustenance of arts helps boost the economy, and arts are important to alleviate crime from society and positively entertain and engage people. Art galleries can attract tourists from all over the world, generating revenue in return while artists can reveal discrimination of society through their works. It is also the case that viewing and practising arts, such as painting, music, acting, dancing and so on, are good sources of venting out stress while educating people at the same time. Such activities also portray a positive picture of a nation to the world. If governments fail to support arts fiscally, many art galleries and theatres would not be able to survive. Arts is as important as science for the true progress of a nation. In pithy, it is clear to me that spending on arts is beneficial both for an individual and society. Therefore funding arts by the government is not squandering money.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocations Original: financing in arts is a wastage Suggested revision: investment in the arts is a waste Why it matters: The replacement uses the conventional preposition and noun phrase for government spending.
- 2. Make wording precise Original: financing in arts is a good idea Suggested revision: investment in the arts is worthwhile Why it matters: This phrasing states the evaluation more directly and naturally.
- 3. Fix subject agreement Original: diverting funds towards arts hamper Suggested revision: diverting funds towards the arts hampers Why it matters: The singular gerund phrase requires the verb “hampers,” and “the arts” is the standard form.
- 4. Use uncountable noun Original: infrastructures Suggested revision: infrastructure Why it matters: “Infrastructure” is normally uncountable when referring collectively to public facilities.
- 5. Improve the collocation Original: increasing care of the sick Suggested revision: improving care for the sick Why it matters: “Improve care for” is the natural expression for enhancing medical provision.
- 6. Keep parallel structure Original: improved Suggested revision: improving Why it matters: The gerund form makes this phrase parallel with “improving care.”
- 7. Clarify the reference Original: investments in such areas Suggested revision: investment in these essential services Why it matters: Naming the services makes the reference clearer and uses “investment” naturally as an uncountable noun.
- 8. Use natural phrasing Original: development and sustenance of arts Suggested revision: development and support of the arts Why it matters: “Support of the arts” is more idiomatic than “sustenance of arts.”
- 9. Correct the collocation Original: alleviate crime from society Suggested revision: reduce crime in society Why it matters: Crime is “reduced,” while “alleviate” does not naturally take “crime from society.”
- 10. Remove redundancy Original: generating revenue in return Suggested revision: generating revenue Why it matters: “In return” adds no useful meaning because attracting tourists already explains the source of revenue.
- 11. Correct the preposition Original: of Suggested revision: in Why it matters: “Discrimination in society” is the natural phrase for discrimination that exists within a community.
- 12. Add the article Original: practising arts Suggested revision: practising the arts Why it matters: The established expression for participating in artistic activities is “practising the arts.”
Suggested Rewrites
- financing in arts is a wastage investment in the arts is a waste
- financing in arts is a good idea investment in the arts is worthwhile
- diverting funds towards arts hamper diverting funds towards the arts hampers
- infrastructures infrastructure
- increasing care of the sick improving care for the sick
- improved improving
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear position and offers several relevant benefits of public arts funding, with logical progression from the opposing view to its rebuttal. Its main weakness is uneven language control, especially awkward collocations and recurring agreement or reference errors, while the lack of paragraph breaks also reduces readability. Prioritise organising the argument into distinct paragraphs and expressing each supporting claim in more natural, precise language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear disagreement is sustained and supported with several relevant economic, social, and cultural reasons, though some claims remain briefly explained.
Develop the causal link behind claims such as crime reduction and social benefit with a specific, credible illustration.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a broadly logical sequence and cohesive devices mark the counterargument and rebuttal, but the response is presented as one continuous paragraph.
Separate the introduction, opposing case, supporting case, and conclusion into distinct paragraphs with one central purpose each.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary range is sufficient for the topic and includes some less common items, but awkward combinations such as financing in arts and alleviate crime reduce precision.
Prioritise natural collocations and check unfamiliar formal expressions in context before using them.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates meaning clearly, despite recurring agreement, reference, and parallelism errors.
Proofread subject-verb agreement and ensure pronouns and paired structures refer clearly and follow the same grammatical form.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.