Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
How to allocate fairly government’s budget for a variety of social demands from health care, infrastructure to other mental ones such as arts remains controversial. Some people insist thatinsist on that that money should be earmarked more for public services and less for the arts, while others believe each area should receive an appropriate amount of fundingan inequitable amount of spending according to its unique contribution to social developmentfor its unique value contributed to social development. I partly agree with the latter view for the following reasons.
Admittedly, public services are not of immediate benefit for the entire society. The issues of health care, education, and infrastructure are always top concerns of any government that wants to recruit high-skilled labour, a strong workforce, and modern facilities. In countries still struggling with abject poverty after wars,Some countries still struggling with abject misery after wars, a large amount of spending for music and painting proves infeasible.
However, the need for arts is rising these days because of its long-term valuefor their long-term worth, especially when a country has passed the peak of economic developmentduring the time the country is beyond the peak of economic development and gears itself towards sustainable growth. With music, painting and other kinds of arts gaining popularitygaining their popularity, people's spiritual livespeople’s spiritual life is continuously enriched. Cities such asSuch cities say, Florence, Paris, and Madrid are always unforgettable destinations forof millions of visitors for their spectacular artistic creations and these cities lure visitorsand lure them into a different world where people are away from worries and let their creativity take off. These cities are also homehomes to various well-known art geniuses from Picasso, Leona DeVinci to Gaudi, who led art revolutions, partly by dint of their governments’ greater appreciation of this field and greaterbigger expenditure on it. America and Britain are also examplesAmerica and Britain are, too, other examples of nations where the music industry outperforms other key industriesoverwhelms other key ones in generating substantial profitsfor their greatest generation of profit. This is again derived from their governments’ frequent organization of musical shows and festivals to attract audiences worldwide.
Sure, investing in public services is going to improve the infrastructure; however, investments in the arts and traditions will simply helphelps us improve the economy and GDP.
In a word, governments should pay more attention to key sectors when their nations are in the embryonic stage of growth, but once they escape povertyescape the life of poverty, arts should have a bigger say for their mental, educational and economic merits.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response establishes a clear conditional position and offers a substantial range of examples for the social and economic value of the arts. Its impact is weakened by some logically inconsistent claims and frequent imprecise or unidiomatic language, especially in ambitious long sentences. Prioritize simplifying the argument, checking that each claim supports the stated position, and using more dependable collocations to improve clarity and persuasiveness.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the issue and presents a clear conditional view, but several supporting claims are insufficiently explained or logically inconsistent.
Develop a direct comparison of spending priorities and ensure every example clearly demonstrates why arts funding is justified.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall introduction-body-conclusion progression is clear, though overlong sentences and a repetitive single-sentence paragraph weaken the flow.
Organize each body paragraph around one controlling idea and remove or integrate points that merely restate earlier claims.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a wide vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices such as 'mental ones,' 'inequitable amount,' and 'overwhelms' reduce precision.
Prefer accurate, natural academic vocabulary and check the meaning and typical usage of ambitious words before using them.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a useful range of complex sentence forms, but recurring errors in articles, agreement, clause construction, and verb forms sometimes strain clarity.
Shorten complex sentences and proofread clause boundaries and subject-verb agreement, including errors such as 'will simply helps.'
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.