Children should never be educated at home by their parents. Do you agree or disagree? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Sample Response
Education is a vital part of everybody’s life. It is particularly crucial for young children, as it is the time when they imbibe new learning’s and habits. Whether home teaching is better than school teaching, is a contentious issue. But as far as I am concerned, school teaching is better for children and they should not be taught at home by their parents. First and foremost, school teaches children to co-exist with other children; children are no longer in comfortable home environment, They learn to share things, respect each other’s difference and make friends. Their overall personality develops when they meet new people. We have often noticed that when a child starts going to kindergarten, they start learning quickly and start speaking more as compared to the time they spent at home. Secondly, schools have professionally qualified teachers. They have in-depth knowledge of the subject they teach. Moreover, children learn discipline when they go to the school; there is a fixed timetable to be followed, which as per my views, is not possible at home. Apart from academics, schools also encourage students to take part in sports, art, drama etc. There are events like annual day celebration, sports day etc which cannot be replicated at home. The school also helps children to cope up with peer pressure and healthy competition that prevails in school. Sometimes, children perform better when there is competition. For instance, when I was in school, we use to have chart displayed in each classroom, with the names of top 10 performers in exams; this really inspired me every time to study more and get a good rank, So that my name appears on that chart. Due to this, my performance improved drastically. Admittedly, there are few children who cannot handle school and study pressure, some children get bullied at school which lowers their confidence level, but this could happen at any phase of life, be it in an office or outside work place. School life prepares children to take these challenges head on. In a nutshell, young age is the foundation of one’s life; as it is rightly said, “Children are like soft clay, and you can mould them into any shape you want”. If you want them to inculcate attributes like compassion, independence, sharing, discipline etc. children should be sent to school.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct noun form Original: learning’s Suggested revision: knowledge Why it matters: The possessive-looking form 'learning’s' is incorrect here, while 'knowledge' conveys the intended meaning.
- 2. Remove subject comma Original: school teaching, is Suggested revision: school teaching is Why it matters: A comma must not separate the subject from its verb.
- 3. Remove unnecessary article Original: go to the school Suggested revision: go to school Why it matters: The institutional expression 'go to school' does not take 'the'.
- 4. Use idiomatic phrase Original: which as per my views, is Suggested revision: which, in my view, is Why it matters: 'In my view' is the idiomatic expression and should be set off as a parenthetical phrase.
- 5. Use formal examples Original: drama etc. Suggested revision: drama and similar activities. Why it matters: The revision replaces the informal abbreviation with a clear category phrase.
- 6. Use plural event Original: annual day celebration Suggested revision: annual-day celebrations Why it matters: A plural noun is needed because the sentence refers generally to school events.
- 7. Fix list and clause Original: sports day etc which Suggested revision: sports days, which Why it matters: The plural form fits the general claim, and the non-defining relative clause needs a comma.
- 8. Correct verb phrase Original: cope up with Suggested revision: cope with Why it matters: The standard expression is 'cope with', without 'up'.
- 9. Use concise wording Original: competition that prevails in school Suggested revision: competition at school Why it matters: The shorter phrase communicates the same idea more naturally.
- 10. Fix past construction Original: use to have chart Suggested revision: used to have a chart Why it matters: Past habit requires 'used to', and the singular countable noun needs an article.
- 11. Improve collocation Original: inspired me every time to study more Suggested revision: consistently inspired me to study harder Why it matters: 'Study harder' and 'consistently inspired' express the intended effort and frequency more naturally.
- 12. Use formal collocation Original: get Suggested revision: achieve Why it matters: 'Achieve a good rank' is more appropriate in formal writing.
Suggested Rewrites
- learning’s knowledge
- school teaching, is school teaching is
- go to the school go to school
- which as per my views, is which, in my view, is
- drama etc. drama and similar activities.
- annual day celebration annual-day celebrations
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear position and supports the case for school education with several relevant explanations and a personal example. However, it only partially fulfils the instruction because it does not genuinely examine the advantages of home education, while the single-block organisation and recurring language errors reduce clarity; the priority is to discuss both sides of homeschooling directly and organise them into purposeful paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position against home education is clear and supported, but the required advantages of homeschooling are essentially omitted.
Discuss at least one credible advantage and one disadvantage experienced by home-educated children before weighing them against your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
The sequence of reasons is generally easy to follow, but presenting the entire response as one block weakens paragraph-level organisation and some links are mechanical.
Use separate paragraphs for the position, homeschooling advantages, homeschooling disadvantages, and conclusion, each centred on one clear purpose.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonably varied vocabulary, including some less common expressions, though collocation and word-form errors recur.
Improve natural word combinations and forms, especially expressions such as comfortable home environment, cope with peer pressure, and workplace.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a mix of simple and complex structures, but recurring article, agreement, punctuation, and sentence-boundary errors reduce accuracy.
Edit each sentence for complete boundaries and consistent forms, paying particular attention to articles, subject-verb agreement, and used to.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Children should never be educated at home by their parents. Do you agree or disagree? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.