Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?
Sample Response
Humans are responsible for a variety of environmental problems, but we can also take steps to reduce the damage that we are causing to the planet. This essay will discuss environmental problems and the measures that governments and individuals can take to address these problems.
Two of the biggest threats to the environment are air pollution and waste. Gas emissions from factories and exhaust fumes from vehicles lead to global warming, which may have a devastating effect on the planet in the future. As the human population increases, we are also producing ever greater quantities of waste, which contaminates the earth and pollutes rivers and oceans.
Governments could certainly make more effort to reduce air pollution. They could introduce laws to limit emissions from factories or to force companies to use renewable energy from solar, wind or water power. They could also impose ‘green taxes’ on drivers and airline companies. In this way, people would be encouraged to use public transport and to take fewer flights abroad, therefore reducing emissions.
Individuals should also take responsibility for the impact they have on the environment. They can take public transport rather than driving, choose products with less packaging, and recycle as much as possible. Most supermarkets now provide reusable bags for shoppers as well as ‘banks’ for recycling glass, plastic and paper in their car parks. By reusing and recycling, we can help to reduce waste.
In conclusion, both national governments and individuals must play their part in looking after the environment.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise clause Original: the damage that we are causing Suggested revision: the damage we cause Why it matters: The shorter relative clause conveys the same continuing responsibility more directly.
- 2. Avoid close repetition Original: environmental Suggested revision: these Why it matters: The demonstrative reference avoids repeating the same phrase within one sentence.
- 3. Make wording concise Original: have a devastating effect on the planet in the future Suggested revision: cause severe future harm to the planet Why it matters: The revision expresses the projected consequence more concisely.
- 4. Use direct phrasing Original: ever greater quantities of waste Suggested revision: increasing quantities of waste Why it matters: The revision states the upward trend more directly in formal prose.
- 5. Choose precise noun Original: earth Suggested revision: land Why it matters: Land is more precise than earth when describing waste pollution.
- 6. Improve collocation Original: make more effort Suggested revision: make greater efforts Why it matters: The plural collocation is more natural when referring to several possible government actions.
- 7. Use parallel terms Original: renewable energy from solar, wind or water power Suggested revision: renewable solar, wind, or hydropower Why it matters: The revision presents the three energy sources in a concise parallel list.
- 8. Use concise term Original: airline companies Suggested revision: airlines Why it matters: Airlines is the standard concise term for companies that operate flights.
- 9. Clarify result link Original: therefore Suggested revision: thereby Why it matters: Thereby more precisely signals that the preceding behaviour produces this result.
- 10. Tighten noun phrase Original: the impact they have on the environment Suggested revision: their impact on the environment Why it matters: The possessive form conveys the same relationship more economically.
- 11. Use precise modifier Original: less Suggested revision: minimal Why it matters: Minimal states the desired reduction in packaging more precisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- the damage that we are causing the damage we cause
- environmental these
- have a devastating effect on the planet in the future cause severe future harm to the planet
- ever greater quantities of waste increasing quantities of waste
- earth land
- make more effort make greater efforts
Why this response received Band 9.0
The response is strongest in its direct, balanced coverage of environmental damage and practical action by both governments and individuals, supported by clear examples and highly controlled language. Its main limitation is that some supporting points, particularly the long-term effects of pollution and waste, remain briefly explained. The highest-priority improvement is to extend one or two causal explanations while preserving the essay's concise focus.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
All parts of the task are fully addressed with relevant, well-supported problems and solutions.
Develop one or two consequences in slightly greater depth to make the argument even more fully extended.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress seamlessly through clearly focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used naturally and unobtrusively.
Maintain this precise paragraph sequencing while allowing slightly fuller development within the main body sections.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary conveys environmental causes, consequences, and solutions with strong collocational control.
Introduce a little more precise language for the longer-term impacts of pollution and waste.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used accurately, flexibly, and with virtually complete control.
Sustain this accuracy when adding more complex causal or conditional detail to the supporting ideas.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.