International marketing is sometimes seen as invasive and an intrusion into the country in question. Others argue that it is a necessary and economical form of education in addition to spreading ideas, language and culture. Which point of view do you agree with?

Same question Compare 2 different answers (Band 6–6.5)

Sample Response

The world has become a small global village due to the increasing international trade opportunity. As this facilitates numerous people to earn their bread and butter, avail global products in a marketplace, creates more opportunity for trade and marketing, and demolish monopoly in business, this is spreading faster than ever before. However, there are some who opine that international marketing is like an encroachment to a country’s own trade, policy, tradition, culture and freedom. In my view, international marketing really benefits the masses and offer countless advantages.

Many prominent reasons are present for my opinion. First and foremost, international marketing enhances the relationship among nations as it invites other countries to invest and do business. This is beneficial for making a stronger bonding among nations. For example, many Asian countries now have a better relationship with Western countries due to the open international market. Secondly, international marketing provides everything for the commonality, even those things which they can not buy from their local market. Consumers, these days, have many choices and they can pick from many international brands. Third, this phenomenon offers better product quality at a competitive price. For example, we can get products from different brands in our local market easily these days and if I personally compare the prices of many of these products with the past, it has dropped due to the increasing competition. Another significant benefit it offers is the reachability of our local products in the international market. As every garden has weeds so as with the international marketing. Many local traders and the vendors face difficulties because they often fail to attract the consumers. The buyers like to go to the international malls and like to purchase the branded items rather than locally made products. In a way, this kills many local businesses. Finally, the international marketing and trade facilities often negatively affect the traditional ways of life and culture. For instance, the traditional Japanese lifestyle and unique culture have greatly been affected by many Western cultures and open market and international market is two of the key reasons for this shift. All in all, it can be enclosed that undoubtedly the world today is a common marketplace for every nation and it is impossible to remain unaffected by the impacts of the international marketing; practically which has more positive than negative consequences.

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Use natural trade phrase Original: increasing international trade opportunity Suggested revision: growth in international trade Why it matters: The revision describes an expanding activity rather than a single increasing opportunity.
  • 2. Fix encroachment preposition Original: to Suggested revision: on Why it matters: The noun “encroachment” takes the preposition “on.”
  • 3. Fix verb agreement Original: benefits the masses and offer Suggested revision: benefits the public and offers Why it matters: Both verbs must agree with the singular subject “international marketing.”
  • 4. Use natural reason phrase Original: Many prominent reasons are present Suggested revision: There are several important reasons Why it matters: The existential structure states that the reasons exist more naturally.
  • 5. Use plural relationships Original: relationship Suggested revision: relationships Why it matters: Several nations can have multiple bilateral and multilateral relationships.
  • 6. Use natural bond phrase Original: making a stronger bonding Suggested revision: building stronger bonds Why it matters: “Build bonds” is the natural collocation, and the plural fits relations among nations.
  • 7. Clarify consumer benefit Original: provides everything for the commonality Suggested revision: provides consumers with a wider range of products Why it matters: “Commonality” does not mean the general public in this context, and “everything” is too absolute.
  • 8. Fix relative clause Original: which they can not buy Suggested revision: that they cannot buy Why it matters: The restrictive clause uses “that,” while the modal negative is written as one word.
  • 9. Remove unnecessary commas Original: Consumers, these days, Suggested revision: Consumers these days Why it matters: The short time phrase does not need to be separated from the subject by commas.
  • 10. Use concise quality phrase Original: better product quality Suggested revision: higher-quality products Why it matters: The attributive adjective describes improved products more naturally.
  • 11. Choose market access noun Original: reachability Suggested revision: availability Why it matters: “Availability” is the appropriate noun for products being obtainable in a market.
  • 12. Remove generic article Original: the vendors Suggested revision: vendors Why it matters: The plural noun refers to vendors generally and does not require “the.”

Suggested Rewrites

  • increasing international trade opportunity growth in international trade
  • to on
  • benefits the masses and offer benefits the public and offers
  • Many prominent reasons are present There are several important reasons
  • relationship relationships
  • making a stronger bonding building stronger bonds
Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The response states a clear preference for international marketing and supports it with several relevant economic and cultural points, including some acknowledgement of drawbacks. Its main limitation is control: nearly all development is placed in one long paragraph, while frequent awkward collocations and grammatical errors weaken precision. The highest-priority improvement is to group benefits and drawbacks into focused paragraphs and revise each supporting sentence for accurate verb agreement, reference, and natural word combinations.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

7.0
Scoring rule

A clear position is maintained and supported by several relevant benefits, with drawbacks acknowledged, although some examples remain broad or only loosely tied to international marketing.

Next step

Develop fewer reasons more deeply and explain exactly how each example proves the claimed educational, economic, or cultural benefit.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Scoring rule

The argument progresses through a clear sequence of points, but mechanical signposting and a single oversized body paragraph weaken cohesion and paragraphing.

Next step

Separate the benefits and drawbacks into focused body paragraphs and use topic sentences to guide progression.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Scoring rule

The response shows sufficient range for the topic, but recurring inaccurate collocations and word forms such as 'stronger bonding,' 'commonality,' 'reachability,' and 'can be enclosed' reduce precision.

Next step

Replace forced uncommon vocabulary with natural collocations and check the exact form and meaning of each key word.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0
Scoring rule

A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main argument, though recurring agreement, parallelism, article, reference, and punctuation errors reduce accuracy.

Next step

Edit long sentences into controlled clauses and check that subjects, verbs, pronouns, and list structures agree consistently.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

International marketing is sometimes seen as invasive and an intrusion into the country in question. Others argue that it is a necessary and economical form of education in addition to spreading ideas, language and culture. Which point of view do you agree with?

Your response

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40:00

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