Some people say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. To what extent do you agree that the internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?
Sample Response
There is no doubt that the internet has an immense influence on the people over the last few years. Technological advancements also contribute a lot in widespread usage of this technology. Some people argue that the internet provides fast, reliable and cheapest ways of communications. Others state that people become isolated and disconnected because of excessive use of the internet. I believe that the internet has undeniable benefits and it helps people to link with each other.
The Internet provides different ways of communications, which are highly reliable and adoptable. Before the advent of the internet, people used other media of communication such as letters, phone calls etc. which cost them handsome amount and time. However, the internet gradually changed the ways the people communicate. Nowadays, everyone has mobile, laptop, tablet etc. and these devices are equipped with the internet that makes them in touch with their peer group using social networking applications.
It is often seen that people are becoming unsocial due to the internet. They are relying more on technology than their friends and relatives. They consider communicating over the internet is sufficient and do not like to bother meeting each other. Sometimes individuals living in same premises prefer to talk using cell phones and electronic gadgets rather than talking directly.
Because of the internet we can talk and keep in touch with people which might have been impossible otherwise. The professional and business communication greatly depends on the internet and because of the widespread usages of the internet, we can stay in touch with people we care.
To sum up, I believe that advantages of internet overweigh its disadvantages. The Internet makes this world as a global village by removing the barrier of distance. Economical ways of communication advocate people to talk more freely without worrying about cost. According to a recent survey, about 70 percent of the world is using the internet for communication. This survey justifies the importance of the internet in our lives.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use present perfect Original: has an immense influence Suggested revision: has had an immense influence Why it matters: The present perfect is needed for an influence continuing over the last few years.
- 2. Remove unnecessary article Original: on the people Suggested revision: on people Why it matters: People is used generally here, so it does not take the definite article.
- 3. Correct verb collocation Original: contribute a lot in Suggested revision: contribute greatly to Why it matters: Contribute takes the preposition to when referring to a result.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: usage Suggested revision: use Why it matters: Widespread use is the more natural collocation in this context.
- 5. Keep comparison consistent Original: cheapest Suggested revision: cheap Why it matters: The three coordinated adjectives should use the same non-superlative form.
- 6. Use correct noun form Original: different ways of communications Suggested revision: different means of communication Why it matters: Communication is uncountable when referring generally to the exchange of information.
- 7. Choose accurate adjective Original: highly reliable and adoptable Suggested revision: reliable and accessible Why it matters: Adoptable means capable of being adopted and does not describe communication methods clearly.
- 8. Add comma Original: etc. which Suggested revision: etc., which Why it matters: A comma is needed before the non-defining relative clause.
- 9. Correct amount collocation Original: handsome amount Suggested revision: a considerable amount Why it matters: A considerable amount is the appropriate collocation for money or time.
- 10. Correct number and article Original: the ways the people communicate Suggested revision: the way people communicate Why it matters: The general process is singular here and people does not need an article.
- 11. Add articles and punctuation Original: has mobile, laptop, tablet etc. Suggested revision: has a mobile phone, laptop, tablet, etc. Why it matters: The singular count nouns need an article, and etc. should be preceded by a comma.
- 12. Use natural expression Original: equipped with the internet Suggested revision: connected to the internet Why it matters: Devices are connected to the internet rather than equipped with it.
Suggested Rewrites
- has an immense influence has had an immense influence
- on the people on people
- contribute a lot in contribute greatly to
- usage use
- cheapest cheap
- different ways of communications different means of communication
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear position and maintains a relevant discussion of how internet communication can overcome distance, while also acknowledging social isolation. Its main limitation is that several ideas are repetitive or only generally supported, and frequent collocation and grammar problems reduce precision. The highest priority is to develop each main claim with a specific, credible explanation while revising awkward word choices and sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and both the communicative benefits and possible social drawbacks are relevant, though some supporting points remain general or repetitive.
Develop the central reasons for agreement with concrete, credible examples rather than relying on broad assertions or an unsupported survey.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through distinct paragraphs, but the short fourth paragraph repeats earlier content and weakens the balance of the argument.
Combine overlapping benefit paragraphs and use each paragraph to advance one fully developed stage of the reasoning.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for the topic and shows some range, but recurring collocation and word-choice problems such as inappropriate uses of adoptable and advocate reduce precision.
Prioritise natural collocations and verify less familiar words before using them in formal argument.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the ideas clearly, although article, plural, agreement, and sentence-pattern errors recur throughout.
Edit systematically for articles, countable nouns, subject-verb agreement, and complete clause patterns after drafting.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. To what extent do you agree that the internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.