People living in large cities today face many problems in their everyday life. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns?
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Sample Response
It is true that people in major cities are confronting a number of problems in their daily livesroutine life. This essay will discuss some of these problems and explain my viewthe writer’s view that citizens should be encouraged to relocate to the countryside or regional towns.
The urban population is grappling withagainst two of the main problemstwo main problems out of many. The first issue is the lower quality of life due to the increasing burdenincreasingly heavier burden on the existing urban infrastructure. This is because rural migrantsimmigrants in pursuit of employment opportunities keep inundating the downtown areas of most major cities. For example, most schools and hospitals located in XYZ city are frequently overloaded, making these services inaccessible to many lower-income residentsthe majority of people of lower classes. The second issue is traffic congestionthe traffic jam due to rising levels of car ownershipthe burgeoning car ownership. Arguably, cars take up more space than a motorbike while its capacity to accommodate passengers is far inferior to that of a bus. This weakness results in bumper-to-bumper traffic, particularly in downtown areas where many drivers have to inch along to move through the heavy trafficget away from the terrible traffic.
I think the government should encourage citizens to move away from major cities. This is due to the fact that this would relieve the current pressure on the infrastructure. Fewer people would need public services such as hospitals or schools and the roads would be more spacious, ensuring a smooth traffic flow with its resultant fewer accidents for city dwellers. In addition, the resources in the countryside or other less developed regions would be better exploited as there might be available workforce there. For instance, there would be more laborers during harvesting time in the countryside, or skilled or knowledgeable people would help with the construction work in smaller regions, spurring the growth of the local area as well as the nation as a whole.
In conclusion, there are many problems that people in cities are facing, and it is advisable that the government encourage the residents to consider relocation to smaller regional areas with a view to solving these issues.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is strongest in its clear position and well-developed discussion of urban infrastructure pressure, traffic, and the potential benefits of relocation. Its main limitation is that some claims and examples are generalized or slightly awkwardly expressed, which reduces precision. The highest-priority improvement is to support each argument with more specific, credible explanation while refining collocations and reference words so that sophisticated ideas read naturally.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered directly with a clear position and relevant, substantially developed reasons and examples.
Make the supporting examples more specific and credible, especially when claiming that services are inaccessible or regional resources would be better used.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through clearly focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices and referencing generally managed well.
Use a little less explanatory signposting and make references such as “This weakness” more precise to create smoother connections.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of topic vocabulary conveys ideas clearly, although several collocations are unnatural or imprecise.
Replace expressions such as “grappling against” and “the traffic jam” with natural, context-appropriate collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are used with strong control, and the few errors do not impede communication.
Check pronoun agreement and article use in longer sentences, particularly where singular and plural nouns are contrasted.