In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays. What is the value of long school holidays? What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?
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Sample Response
Long summer holidays have long beenLong Summer holidays have already been a common phenomenon for primary and secondary schools in many countries. This essay will discuss the value of long holidays and some compelling arguments in favour ofreasonable standpoints about shorter school holidays.
There are three key reasonsvalues why long summer holidays are beneficial for students and teachers. First of all, children can make the most ofmake the most use of the long holidays to relax, recharge, and avoidrelax and refresh and avoid burning out. After a term of working hard and exams, students may be exhausted. Long summer holidays are necessary to help them recharge their batteries. Additionally, some extracurricular activitiesinformal courses can be held during the holidaysheld in holidays, and students also can participate in them with their family. For instance, outdoor activities such as diving, hiking, and surfing, which are suitable for summer, can be fully enjoyed during this period. Children are encouraged to take part with their familiestake part in with family, to strengthen the bond with parents. In addition,As well, it is an effective approachit’s an effective approach to encourage them to exercise instead of staying at home scrollingto scrolling through their phones. Furthermore, after a long term of teaching, teachers have time to rest and better prepare and design courses for the new termprepare to design courses of the new term better.
On the other hand, shorter holidays have advantages as well. To begin with, they can mitigate summer learning lossreduce learning losses. Students may not forget what they have learnedforget too much knowledge after a short vacation. It is effective for teachers to avoid wasting time reviewing previously taught materialpoints which have already been taught. Besides that, shorter holidays can alleviate parents’ stress. When both parents work full-time, it is difficult for them to care for their children all day, so shorter holidays allow them to better focus on their careersconcentrate on their work better. Finally, continuous learning prevents students from losing academic momentum and struggling to refocus, which ultimately reduces stress for both pupils and teachers.
In conclusion, long holidays are important for rest and family time, but shorter holidays could reduce learning loss and alleviate the childcare burden on working parentsease family pressure. A balanced calendar with more frequent breaks may be the most practical solution.
Why this response received Band 7.5
文章完整地回答了题目要求的两个问题,结构清晰且逻辑连贯,能够有效地展开和支持论点。主要不足在于部分表达略显口语化,以及存在少量语法与拼写小错误。建议在今后的写作中进一步丰富高级词汇表达,并提高复杂句式运用的精准度。
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
任务回应
文章充分回应了长假期的价值与支持短假期的理由,论点明确且拓展充分。
可以尝试更深入地比较两者的利弊逻辑,使结尾段的折中方案与前文讨论联系得更加紧密。
连贯与衔接
全篇段落分明,行文衔接自然,逻辑推进非常清晰。
注意减少重复使用连接词(如 "Furthermore" 和 "Besides that"),增加指代词和非句式衔接方式的使用。
词汇资源
词汇量较为丰富,使用了诸如 "recharge their batteries" 和 "academic momentum" 等地道表达。
积累并替换个别较为基础或口语化的表达,如将 "scrolling through their phones" 提升为更书面化的句式。
语法多样性与准确性
语法结构具备多样性,多数句子表达准确,语义传达顺畅。
注意介词搭配与动词形式(如 "participate in with family" 的句式优化),并仔细检查小拼写问题。