In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays. What is the value of long school holidays? What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?

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Sample Response

1

Long Summer holidays have already been a common phenomenon for primary and secondary schools in many countries. This essay will discuss the value of long holidays and some reasonable standpoints about shorter school holidays.

2

There are three key values why long summer holidays are beneficial for students and teachers. First of all, children can make the most ofmake most use of the long holidays to relax and refresh and avoidobviously, avoiding burning out. After a term of hard work and examsAfter a term working hard and exams, students may be exhausted. Long summer holidays are necessary to help them recharge their batteriesrecover energy.Additionally, some informal courses can be held in holidays, and students also can participate in them with theirparticipate in with family. For instance, a host of activities ,such as diving, hiking, and surfing,which are suit for open in summer have enough time to propagandize. Children are encouraged to take part in with family, to strengthen their bond with parentspromote the bond with parents. As well, it is an effectiveit’s a effective approach to encourage them to exercise instead of staying at home to scrolling through their phonesscroll phones. Furthermore, after a long term of teachingafter a long term teaching, teachers have time to rest and prepare to design courses of the new term better.

3

On the other hand, shorter holidays have advantages as well. To begin with, theyit can reduce learning losses Deleteapparently. Students may not forget too much knowledge after a short vacation. It is effective for teachers to avoid wasting timewaste time reviewing points which have already been taught. Besides that, shorter holidays can alleviate parents’ stress. Some parents both have work, it’s difficult for them to take care of their children the whole daytake care of child whole day, and shorter breaks allow themwhich allows them to concentrate on their workworks better. Finally, students’ learning can be continuous, the policy can prevent students from getting too carried away and unable to refocus effectively, helping students and teachers relieve an unnecessary burdenrelieve unnecessary burden.

4

In conclusion, long holidays are important for rest and family time, but shorter holidays could reduce learning loss and ease family pressure. A balanced calendar with more frequent breaks may be the most practical solution.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

文章全面回答了题目关于长短暑假各自价值与优势的要求,整体逻辑清晰且具备明确的结论。主要的限制在于语言准确性,包含了多处语法错误和用词选择不够地道的问题。提升写作质量的首要任务是加强语法精准度,特别是定语从句结构与动词搭配的控制。

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

任务回应

7.0
Scoring rule

文章完整涵盖了题目要求的两个方面,阐述了长暑假的价值以及支持短暑假的理由,并在结尾给出了合理的总结。

Next step

可以对论点进行更深入的展开,减少具体例子的重叠,使每个论据对核心观点的支撑更加有力。

CC

连贯与衔接

7.0
Scoring rule

文章结构清晰,段落分明,使用了较为恰当的连接词来指引行文逻辑。

Next step

尝试使用更多多样化的衔接手段,避免机械化地频繁使用 'First of all' 或 'To begin with' 等公式化表达。

LR

词汇资源

6.0
Scoring rule

词汇量足以表达基本观点,但部分词汇使用不够准确或不够地道(如 'propagandize' 和 'scroll phones')。

Next step

积累并使用更地道、精准的搭配(例如将 'scroll phones' 改为 'scroll through their phones',将 'propagandize' 改为 'promote')。

GRA

语法多样性与准确性

6.0
Scoring rule

能使用多种句子结构,但语法错误较为频繁,包括定语从句结构混淆(如 'such as...,which are suit for...')以及冠词和主谓搭配问题。

Next step

写完后认真检查复合句的语法结构,确保形容词与动词形式(如 'are suited for')使用正确。