In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays. What is the value of long school holidays? What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?
Sample Response
In many countries, primary and secondary schools have a long summer holiday which can last for two months or more. While a long holiday can have several benefits, there are some arguments in favour of shorter school holidays. One important benefit of long holidays is that students can spend enough time with their families. They can engage in various meaningful activitiesdo a lot of interesting things together such as travellingtaking a journey or playing sports. They can create unforgettable memoriesmake many unforgettable memories. When students enter higher gradesgo to the senior grades, they have to focus more heavily onpay more attention to their studies. This means that they have less time to stay with their familiesstay with families. Furthermore, the long holiday gives students enough time to relax after a long period of study. This is because they often face considerable stress during the school year. I think a long holiday is a valuable opportunitygood chance to unwind and recharge. It allows students to reduce stress. However, there are arguments in favour of shorter school holidays. One reason is that parents do not have much time to take care of their children. This is because many parents still have to work during the summer holiday and may not have enough time with their childrenenough time with children. As a result, children may be left at home alonechildren stay at home alone. This may cause safety concernsproblems. Therefore, shorter holidays can reduce pressure on working families. In conclusion, long school holidays allow students ample time to recuperatecan allow students to have enough time to relax, and they can spend more time with their families,time with families, while shorter holidays may reduce pressure on working families.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt, providing clear arguments for both long and short school holidays with a logical overall structure. The primary limitation is the reliance on relatively simple vocabulary and repetitive sentence patterns. To achieve a higher score, focus on incorporating a wider range of topic-specific vocabulary and varied complex grammatical structures to express ideas more precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both prompt questions are clearly answered with relevant supporting points regarding relaxation, family time, and parental workload.
Extend main ideas with more concrete examples and elaborate further on how shorter holidays affect academic retention or learning.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized logically into clear paragraphs with clear progression, though some linkers feel repetitive.
Vary cohesive devices beyond simple patterns like 'One reason is' and 'This is because' to create smoother transitions between sentences.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is mostly accurate and adequate for the task, though it relies on high-frequency, basic phrasing.
Incorporate less common lexical items and natural collocations related to education and childcare to express ideas with greater precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response demonstrates good grammatical control with frequent error-free sentences, though sentence structures remain somewhat simple.
Combine short, simple sentences into compound-complex structures to showcase a broader grammatical range.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays. What is the value of long school holidays? What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.