Nowadays, news companies spend a lot of money covering international news. However, local news is more relevant to people’s lives and should receive more funding. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
This response is estimated at Band 6.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
Today, news organizationsmedia houses use most of their funds to cover international news. Although most people believe that local news is more relevant and should receive more funds, Ifunds I strongly disagree with this view. This essay will provide reasons for this viewreasons for my objection.
Firstly, international news informs people generally about global healthWorld Health. I believe this information is crucial forto everyone and people should be aware of the trends in global health. For instance, people became wellWell informed about the 2020 pandemic. In addition, international reports from various countries advised people not to travel toadvised people against travel to some destinations which had a high prevalence of COVID-19. This international news had a major impact on the lives of people irrespective of their location or region.
Secondly, information about global crises is relevant to people despite their location. News companies should spend more money coveringspend more money on covering this international news. For example, people become aware of crises such as terrorism by listening to international media coverage. Also, people will have the opportunity to participatebe opportune to participate in global movements against such crisesagainst such a crisis. Evidence of the impact of international media is the Black Lives Matter movement and the Asian Hate movements. People from different countries marched in solidarity withfor these movements.
Thirdly, international news coverscover global fashion trends and changes in the fashion industrytrends in global fashion and changes in fashion style and in the fashion industry. This information allows local fashion enthusiastsenthusiast to update their knowledge and compete internationally. For instance, students in Amsterdam Fashion Academy will learn more about fashion trends in places such as New York or Japan. Also, they will be able to incorporate this knowledge intoin their studies making them more diversemaking more them more diverse and well-informed. Therefore, news companies should spend more money on international news because it is more relevantas this is more relevant to people.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that international news is more relevant to people’s liveslife and media companies should invest more in international reportinginvest more in them. This is becauseThis is because, international news covers information about global health, global crisis, and the world’s fashion trends. This information is useful to people irrespective of their region or location in the world.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear position and supports it with several relevant, logically separated examples, particularly in relation to health and international crises. Its main limitation is uneven precision: some claims are broad or less convincing, and recurring grammatical and collocational errors reduce polish. Prioritise more exact development of each argument while checking agreement, noun forms, and sentence construction.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported with relevant reasons and examples, though the fashion argument is less convincingly developed.
Develop each reason through a more precise explanation of why international coverage deserves funding relative to local news.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically through distinct ideas, with clear paragraphing and generally effective linking.
Use a wider range of less formulaic transitions and strengthen connections within sentences to make progression more natural.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of topic vocabulary, but several inaccurate word choices and collocations reduce precision.
Review collocations and word forms in phrases such as participating in movements, fashion enthusiasts, and global crises.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates meaning clearly, although agreement, article, pronoun, and word-order errors recur.
Proofread systematically for subject-verb agreement, singular and plural forms, and the placement of objects in complex sentences.