Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?
Sample Response
Working long hours has become a common practice in modern times, withwhere individuals dedicate most of their time to their jobsjobs and work, leaving minimal leisure time. In this essay, I will explore both the advantages and disadvantagesdemerits associated with this practice. Personallyassociated with this. Personally, I think that it has more demerits than advantages, and that is why we should have a work-life balance.
There are several advantages to working long hours each dayworking for an extended duration each day. First, it increases productivity and helps achieve organizational goals more efficiently. In this wayThis way, individuals develop a strong work ethic and valuable skills, which can lead to career advancementadvancements. For instance, in today's highly competitive corporate worldin this cut-throat competitive age of the corporate world, working long hours often can lead to promotionscomes with promotions and financial benefits. Second, it provides a sense of fulfilment and accomplishment, which can improve one's self-esteem. Research indicates that people who work diligentlydedicatedly for more than seven hours a day often have highermore self-esteem than those who do not.
Despite the advantages, there are also several disadvantages to working long hours. First, it can lead to burnout and decreased work performance. This can negatively impact the quality of work and lead to decreased productivity. For instance, evidence suggests thatit is proven that people who have long working hourslengthy office hours often suffer from occupational burnout and lack the motivation to produce high-quality workquality output. Working long hours can haveIt can have adverse effects on physical and mental health, including increased stress levels. Moreover, it can affect relationships with family and friends, leading to social isolation and reduceddecreased overall happiness. For example, long hours can cause individuals to missresult in individuals missing out on important life events, such as family gatherings, affecting their personal and social life.
In conclusion, long working hours have more drawbacksissues than benefits. While it can increase productivity, and financial rewards, and provide a sense of fulfilment, it can also lead to burnout, decreased work quality, and unhealthy personal and social relationships. In my opinion, the problems associated with this trend are more severe. ThereforeSo, it is important to prioritize leisure time to engage in personal interests, maintain relationships, and achieve a sense of fulfilment outside of work.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay’s strongest feature is its clear judgement that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits, supported by a balanced structure and a fuller discussion of burnout, health, and relationships. Its main limitation is the reliance on broad, unsupported assertions about productivity, promotion, and self-esteem, alongside some repetitive or awkward phrasing. Prioritise developing one credible cause-and-effect comparison that shows why the disadvantages are ultimately more significant.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both sides, maintains a clear position, and develops several relevant disadvantages, though some supporting claims are broad or insufficiently substantiated.
Compare one specific benefit directly with a more serious long-term cost to demonstrate more convincingly why the disadvantages predominate.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical four-paragraph progression and clear internal sequencing, although repeated signposting reduces polish.
Replace mechanical ‘First’ and ‘Second’ sequencing with links that show causal relationships.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently varied range conveys the workplace and well-being ideas clearly, but combinations such as ‘work dedicatedly’, ‘cut-throat competitive age’, and ‘lengthy office hours’ are awkward.
Use natural phrases such as ‘work diligently’, ‘highly competitive corporate environment’, and ‘long working hours’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a variety of complex structures with generally good control, despite occasional agreement, reference, and punctuation errors.
Ensure pronouns agree with plural ideas such as ‘long working hours’ and simplify the faulty parallel list in the conclusion.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.