The mass media, including television, radio and newspapers, have great influence in shaping people's ideas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
“People react according to the perspective they hold in any situation" is a well-known and accepted fact around the world. Of course, perspective is highly influenced by the information people receive through communication channels like TV, radio and newspapers. Hence, as expected, to control the burgeoning of people's thoughts, many countries have regulated the freedom of media.
Firstly, nowadays, media plays a vital role in forming our perspectives towards our country's current politics, sports and other issues as it is an important part of our everyday life. Almost all of us use some sort of media to get updated about the world. In fact for many of us, a day starts with a newspaper. Since media persons are highly revered, accordingly, we truly trust the information we receive from media. For example: during the world war II, Hitler used the German media to spread false news about atrocities over German people living in other European countries to mentally prepare everyone in Germany to gear up for war.
Secondly, media also shapes our minds to understand each other's cultural values and perspectives. Media brings us views of different people over the same issues and based on the circumstances we react, oppose and even embrace these different views. Also, media brings all of us at a single platform where we learn about multicultural aspects. So, the vital impact of media cannot be disregarded. For example, in a multi-cultural city like Toronto, media plays a prominent role in unifying people from different nations and pumps in nationality.
In conclusion, I believe media is having a tremendous impact on people's mind and perspectives. Hence, it is equally important to ensure the freedom of media and publication of unbiased news.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Match quotation marks Original: situation" Suggested revision: situation” Why it matters: Use a closing curly quotation mark to match the opening mark.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: burgeoning of people's thoughts Suggested revision: development of people's views Why it matters: The original phrase is not a natural way to describe how opinions form.
- 3. Improve collocation Original: regulated the freedom of media Suggested revision: restricted media freedom Why it matters: The revised phrase expresses control over the media more naturally and precisely.
- 4. Remove redundant marker Original: Firstly, nowadays, Suggested revision: Firstly, Why it matters: Using two opening markers together makes the transition unnecessarily heavy.
- 5. Correct preposition Original: towards Suggested revision: on Why it matters: The natural collocation is 'perspectives on' a topic.
- 6. Clarify political topic Original: country's current politics Suggested revision: country's current political affairs Why it matters: This phrasing more clearly identifies current political matters.
- 7. Use natural collocation Original: get updated about Suggested revision: stay informed about Why it matters: 'Stay informed about' is the natural expression for continuing to receive news.
- 8. Add introductory comma Original: In fact for Suggested revision: In fact, for Why it matters: The introductory phrase 'In fact' should be followed by a comma.
- 9. Use standard term Original: persons Suggested revision: professionals Why it matters: 'Media professionals' is the standard term for people who work in the media.
- 10. Avoid doubled causation Original: accordingly, we truly trust Suggested revision: we therefore trust Why it matters: 'Since' already introduces the cause, so 'accordingly' creates a redundant link.
- 11. Use a comma Original: For example: Suggested revision: For example, Why it matters: A comma, not a colon, should follow this introductory phrase in the sentence.
- 12. Capitalise proper name Original: world war II Suggested revision: World War II Why it matters: The name of this historical event requires capital letters.
Suggested Rewrites
- situation" situation”
- burgeoning of people's thoughts development of people's views
- regulated the freedom of media restricted media freedom
- Firstly, nowadays, Firstly,
- towards on
- country's current politics country's current political affairs
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear, consistent agreement and supports it with two relevant ways in which media shapes public perspectives, including a particularly effective historical example. Its main limitation is that the cultural-unity discussion and the final point about media freedom are less fully developed and occasionally drift from the precise claim. Prioritise deeper explanation of the second argument and connect every concluding point directly to developed body content.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported by relevant arguments, although the second idea and the closing reference to media freedom are not fully developed.
Develop the multicultural argument with a more specific causal explanation and avoid introducing an unsupported recommendation in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through distinct ideas, with clear paragraphing and generally effective linking.
Use less mechanical sequencing and strengthen the internal progression from each example back to the central claim.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic vocabulary conveys precise ideas, but several awkward collocations reduce naturalness.
Replace expressions such as "pumps in nationality" with natural, context-specific phrasing such as "strengthens a shared national identity."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied mix of sentence structures is generally well controlled, with errors rarely affecting clarity.
Refine article, preposition, and possessive choices, particularly in phrases such as "people's mind" and "views ... over the same issues."
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The mass media, including television, radio and newspapers, have great influence in shaping people's ideas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.