The mass media, including television, radio and newspapers, have great influence in shaping people's ideas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
In this day and age, mass media have become pervasivehave become an epidemic all around the world. So that, people in different ages follow and use them, such as television, newspaper and the internet have become more popular among individuals. In the contemporary worldOn the contemporary worlds, whether the influence of mass media in shaping people's liveslife is a controversial issue. One group of people believes that media have no effects on people's lifestyle, while others are the advocate of many powerful influences of mass media in our lives. I personally agree with the latter group forthe latter group, because of two main reasons which are explainedelucidated below.
The first group claimsFirst group claims that mass media cannot have an effect on our decisions and beliefs because their influence is taken for grantedbelieves; since it has been taken for granted. Of course, they are right to some extent, but I think they considerconsidered this issue superficially.
First of all, mass media have a profound impact on cultures. It helps eliminateIt causes to eliminate cultural boundaries between peoplethe boundaries of cultures among people and creates globalisation. The globalisation is a good example ofa good instance to depict the effect of mass media because individuals now can see what is happening in other countries or how people dresshow they are dressed and how their cultures differtheir culture is different. As a result, they usually imitate what others do.
Secondly, mass media are a source of information. It informsinformed people about daily events or new discoveries. This information is sometimes usedThis information sometimes is used to change people's opinionsopinion. For example, in a presidential election, the fan of different candidates advertise in media like, television or the internet for them, and absorb attention to elect any person that they want.
In conclusion, as I mentioned above, the influence of mass media is undeniable, and it can change our beliefs and ideasour beliefs and our ideas.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear agreement throughout and organizes two relevant influences of mass media into distinct body paragraphs. However, development is fairly general, the brief opposing view is unclear, and frequent awkward word choices and grammatical errors weaken precision. The highest-priority improvement is to explain each causal claim more specifically while using simpler, controlled sentences and accurate collocations, especially in the examples about culture and elections.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The task is addressed with a clear position and two relevant main ideas, but support is uneven and some claims remain broad or only partly explained.
Develop each reason through a precise cause-and-effect chain and make the election example clearly show how media shape voters' ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a recognizable progression and clear paragraphing, although the short counterargument paragraph and mechanical sequencing disrupt the flow.
Either develop the opposing view and rebut it meaningfully or remove that paragraph and connect the two supporting arguments more smoothly.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a reasonable range, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce naturalness and precision.
Replace expressions such as become an epidemic, decisions and believes, and absorb attention with accurate, conventional academic phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but recurring errors in sentence formation, agreement, articles, and tense sometimes strain clarity.
Build complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, then proofread systematically for agreement and consistent tense.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The mass media, including television, radio and newspapers, have great influence in shaping people's ideas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.