A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
According to many, when a country's population is made up of individuals with diverse backgrounds, such diversity helps the countryit helps this country become unique and interesting while also fostering the country's development. In this essay, I will argue in favour of this statement as I wholeheartedly believe that a nation becomes more culturally engagingincreasingly captivating and develops more rapidlyexperiences accelerated progress when its population includes people of diverse nationalitiesencompasses a diverse range of nationalities, thereby contributing to its vibrant character and rapid developmentcontributing to its vibrant character and rapid development.
To begin with, a mix of nationalities brings with it a variety of cultures, beliefs, and perspectives that can foster innovationcan lead to innovation and creativity. This cultural exchange can generate new wayscan lead to new ways of thinking and problem-solving that can help the country develop more rapidly. Additionally, it canAdditionally, it can also create new economic opportunities as people from different backgrounds bring their skillsbring with them their skills and expertise. A recent study reveals that the blending of nationalities fosters a rich cultural tapestry, igniting innovation and creativity.
Moreover, a diverse population can help a country establish stronger diplomatic relations with other nationscountries. Countries with a mix of nationalities can use their cultural diversity as a soft power tool to foster goodwill and build stronger relationships with other nations. For instance, countries such as Canada, Australia, and the United States have used their multiculturalism policies to improve their international image and enhance their diplomatic relations with other countries.
In conclusion, a country becomes more attractive and grows more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. The benefits of a diverse population, including innovation, creativity, economic opportunities, and stronger diplomatic relations, are clearrelations are rather obvious. Therefore, countries should strive to promote and celebrate their diversity to improve their development and create a more vibrant society.
1. The more diverse the nationalities in a country, the richer its culture and traditions become.
2. People from different backgrounds have varied contributions to makedifferent things to offer in terms of ideas, experiences and expertise. Thus, a countryThus a country with diverse nationalities develops faster.
3. Multi-ethnic societies offer a richwealthy pool of ideas and lifestyles which lead to innovations.
4. Cosmopolitan cities build facilities and infrastructureinfrastructures designed with different nationalities in mindkeeping different nationalities in mind and thus become favourite destinations for international tourists.
5. Citizens in such a country foster tolerance and peaceful coexistence.
6. Members of a racially and ethnically diverse society are better prepared to deal with global tradetrades.
7. In such a society, people get to choose the best aspects of various cultural perspectivesattitudes instead of having no choice but to embrace the traditional attitudes of their own culture.
8. Generations in such a country become biologically well-suited to face challenges and liveliving in harsher conditionsmore adverse conditions.
1. Different opinions about the same issue and varying outlooks on life. This may lead to social unrest and injustice. 2. It may lead to ethnic conflicts and civil unrest. 3. The country may lose its unique cultural identity altogether. 4. People possess discriminatory views about minority groups, generating hatred and angerthe minority group which generate hatred and anger.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The opening essay presents a clear agreement position, develops cultural, economic, and diplomatic benefits logically, and uses generally flexible language. However, the large set of numbered notes after the conclusion disrupts progression, includes undeveloped assertions, and introduces opposing points that are not reconciled with the stated stance. Remove the notes and turn the strongest two benefits into fully supported body paragraphs with precise examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The main essay clearly agrees and explains several relevant benefits, but the appended notes contain undeveloped claims and opposing ideas that weaken the response's consistency.
Select two or three strongest reasons, develop their connection to national interest and faster development, and omit unreconciled brainstorming notes.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph essay has clear internal progression, but the numbered material placed after the conclusion seriously disrupts the overall sequence and paragraphing.
End after a concise conclusion, or integrate any useful listed point into a logically ordered body paragraph with an explicit link to the thesis.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and often precise, with effective language for culture, innovation, economics, and diplomacy, though several list items contain awkward collocations.
Maintain the range while checking combinations such as wealthy pool and global trades for more natural and exact alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The main paragraphs use a good variety of largely accurate complex structures, but fragments and faulty parallel forms occur repeatedly in the appended notes.
Convert every retained list fragment into a complete sentence and check parallel structure after coordinated verbs and phrases.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.