A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Global migration of people began with soaring industrialization and due to the major global wars. As a result, many developed nations have experiencedmany developed nations experience the amalgamation of different cultures and traditions. It is often argued that this diversitydiversification of nationalities and cultures makes athe country more attractive and helps the nation progress faster. I totally agree with this viewpoint. First of all, in a country with cultural diversitycross-cultural integrity, public areas, facilities and tourist spots are designed withconsidering all inhabitants including expatriates. Shopping malls, entertainment centres, beaches and other public placesbeaches etc. public places become more appealing and usable. The cities become cosmopolitan citiesglobal towns and bear the mark of truly diverse traditions and cultures. For example, in several countries, different nationalities reside together and withtaking this in mind, a global village is designed for them. Such a global village attracts thousands of tourists from around the globetourists around the globe and it is promoted asit claims to be a global tourism, leisure, shopping and entertainment destinationthe world's tourism, leisure, shopping and entertainment destination. In addition to this, cosmopolitan societies are more conducive to the overall progressbetter for the overall progress of a country. That is perhaps why nations such as the USA, Australia and Canada, which are primarily multi-cultural societies, enjoy greater prosperity, stability and harmony. Transactions between immigrants and residentsThe transaction between immigrants and residents would increase the circulation of moneyquicken the currency circulations and increase the consumer demanddemand for consumption - two essential elements of economic development. Thus, a countryThus a country with different ethnic groups and a diverse culture enjoysenjoy quicker progress and cultural richness. In conclusion, countriescounties with different cultural backgrounds and nationalities are much more intriguing. It is undeniable that cultural diversity in a country should be considered a welcomewelcoming trend for the attractiveness and faster growth of a nation.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear agreement and addresses both national attractiveness and faster development through a logically sequenced argument. Its main weakness is that several supporting claims are generalized or expressed through implausible and imprecise examples, while one-block presentation and recurring language lapses reduce polish. The priority is to separate the two main ideas into focused paragraphs and support each with a concrete, clearly reasoned example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the proposition are addressed under a clear position, with relevant ideas that are developed but sometimes generalized.
Use a specific, credible example to demonstrate how nationality diversity directly produces either greater interest or faster development.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasoning moves clearly from attractiveness to economic progress, but the lack of paragraph breaks weakens the visibility of that structure.
Place the introduction, each main argument, and the conclusion in separate paragraphs with a clear topic sentence for each body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
There is a broad vocabulary for migration, culture, and economics, but several awkward collocations and imprecise expressions reduce naturalness.
Prefer established academic combinations such as cultural diversity, consumer spending, and circulation of money, and remove vague promotional phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures, although errors in agreement, coordination, punctuation, and phrasing occur noticeably.
Check sentence boundaries and agreement carefully, especially in coordinated phrases and sentences whose subjects are singular.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.