A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Since industrialisation beganEver since the dawn of industrialisation, the ethnic landscapes of many developed and developing nations have changed considerablyremarkably, and several Westernwestern nations these days have a more heterogeneous population than ever before. It is often arguedcited that this diversification of nationalities makes a country more appealing and leads to rapid developmentexpeditious advancements. I completely agree with this view, and this will be shown in this essay by analysing the richnesscopiousness of the culture brought in by different nationalities and how a country can utilise the distinct strengths of people from different national backgroundsdifferent races and nationalities. To begin with, the more nationally diverse a country isthe more diverse the nationalities in a country are, the richer its culture becomes. For instance, people from more than a hundred nationalities reside in Dubai and this leads to the availability of hundreds of different cuisines throughout the country. As a result, Dubai is called the ‘food capital’ of the Middle East. This, in turn, attracts tourists from all over the world who come to explore Dubai's cultural richnessthis richness in culture in Dubai. Hence, the contribution of having a diverse populationan amalgam of diverse types of people makes the culture of a country more intriguing. Besides, many researchers agree that people from different countries have different strengths and weaknesses. For example, Singaporeans and other Asians are generally better at mathematicsmath, while Africans are known for their strength. Countries such as the United States and the United Kingdom have harnessed these strengths of people from different races to become global leaders. Therefore, the benefits of having a mixture of nationalities in a country's workforcea mixture of citizens in a country’s workforce are obvious. To conclude, having a mixture of nationalities leads to the enrichment of cultures and faster advancement of a country. It is expected that more countries will benefit from this phenomenon in the future.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response maintains a clear position and progresses coherently from cultural enrichment to economic development, using a wide grammatical range with strong control. Its main weakness is that the second argument relies on sweeping claims about national or racial abilities and does not convincingly explain how diversity accelerates development; the lack of paragraph breaks also obscures the structure. Replace those generalisations with specific, credible mechanisms and separate each stage into paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and both aspects of the claim are addressed, though the development argument rests on unsupported generalisations.
Explain a credible mechanism, such as complementary expertise increasing innovation, and support it with a specific example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument has clear internal progression and effective linking, but presenting the entire response as one paragraph weakens its organisation.
Use separate introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs so each main idea has an immediately visible function.
Lexical Resource
A broad academic vocabulary conveys the argument effectively, although several choices are inflated or imprecise.
Replace awkward phrases such as 'expeditious advancements' and 'copiousness of the culture' with more natural, exact wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex structures is used accurately, and most sentences are controlled and error-free.
Preserve this accuracy while making a few long sentences more concise and direct.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.