Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Sample Response
Many people associate wealthwealth accumulation and money with happiness in life. While it is certainly true that money can eliminate some reasons for distress and provide satisfactiondistress, and give gratification in life, it is not the primary source of happinessdriving force to bringing happiness as our positive mindset, personal relationshipsrelationship, and health bring lasting happinesslasting delight in life.
There is no denying that people without money face far more financial and practical difficultiesfinancial and earthly troubles than those with money, and that is why money is often considered an important ingredient for a comfortable and happy life. Even though money can not buy happiness, it certainly can remove some of the sources of distress from lifedistressing elements from life that can be causes of suffering and unhappinessour reasons for suffering and unhappiness. For instance, no matter how hard one tries to be content, when debt and poverty constantly overwhelm that personconstantly knock him down, the person's life becomes miserable. Happiness can not sustain in the mind of a hungry person who does not know where and when the next meal for his family will be managed. Moreover, financial prosperity and the ability to spend money give people instant satisfaction and a sense of successcontentment of success. People who buy a new car or donate to a charity, for example, associate these actions with their achievementsassociate it with their achievements in life, and this feeling of accomplishment can bring happiness to many.
When it comes to achieving genuine and lasting happiness in life, I believe a positive attitude towards life, healthy personal relationships, and good health are three essential elements. An optimistic person remains happy even in difficult timeshis unfortunate time. Happiness is a state of mind and positive people already understand this principleknow this hack. Moreover, we tend to feel happierbecome more delighted in life when we have healthy relationships with our family, neighbours and friends. Sometimes it is so important to us that we can be happy in life just by having good relationships with others who surround us. Finally, sound health is essential for happinessquintessential to be happy in life. Without health, nothing seems enjoyable, and people in poor healthill people, for instance, understand and often state the importance of health in life.
In conclusion, happiness can be subjective, and money can help us alleviate some causes of unhappinessremove some of our unhappiness. However, our positive attitude, strong relationshipsgood affinity and sound health can bring true happiness.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response answers both questions directly and develops its discussion of financial security especially well, using clear examples and a consistent distinction between immediate relief and lasting happiness. Its main limitation is imprecise or unnatural phrasing in several otherwise sophisticated sentences, which occasionally weakens clarity. The highest priority is to replace forced collocations with more natural expressions while retaining the strong structure and range of ideas.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are fully addressed through relevant, extended explanations of financial security and several non-financial sources of happiness.
Develop the non-financial factors with slightly more specific support so they match the depth of the discussion about money.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices generally make relationships between points easy to follow.
Vary transitions and trim repeated framing around happiness to make the progression even more seamless.
Lexical Resource
A broad vocabulary conveys nuanced ideas, although several collocations such as those concerning distress, success, and affinity sound unnatural.
Prioritize precise, idiomatic word combinations over ambitious but forced expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a wide range of complex structures, with occasional errors in complementation, agreement, and clause construction that do not impede meaning.
Edit complex sentences for natural verb patterns and clearer clause relationships, especially where passive constructions are used.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.