What discovery in the last 100 years has been most beneficial for people in your country? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.
Sample Response
There have been various discoveries in the last centuryin last century that have helped my country to improve people's standard of livingthe people's standard of living and have made their liveslife easier. Discoveries such as telephones, the internet, and advances in medicinetelephones, internet and advancement in medicine field have been proven to be very important for changing and shaping people’s lives. But the discovery that has proved to be most beneficial is the advancementadvancements in the field of agriculturein agriculture field such as improved irrigationirrigational facilities and improved fertilisers. India is primarily an agricultural nation, where still 60% of the population lives in villages. People mostly depend on agriculture and related activities for their livelihood. In earlier days, people relied mainly on the monsoonwere mainly dependent on monsoon and did not have an alternative method of irrigation. If the monsoon failedIf monsoon failed, it would result in drought and hundreds of people would either die or become bankrupt. Also, with the poor quality of seed and bad farming practices, the output generally remained low and the majority of the crops were destroyed by rodents and worms and other insectsworms/insects. We were not self-sufficient in producing food grains and hence had to import themit from other countries. But with the advent of new technologyadvent of technologies and new and improved farming practicesnew improved farming practices, India's agricultural production has surged. We are no longer solely dependent on the monsoonno longer only dependent on monsoon. Although the monsoon remainsAlthough monsoon still remains as a major source of irrigation, we now have, but now we have dams and irrigationirrigational channels that provide water for cultivation throughout the year. The government has also focused on providing education on new and improved seeds, fertilisers and new farming techniques such as crop rotation. With the use of these new techniques, we have not only become self-sufficient in the production of our food grain but have a surplus amount for several years. India has also become an exporter of many food grains such as rice, wheat, sugar etc. This has not only helped our economy to grow but also made life easier for all Indians. In a nutshell, the discoveries made in the field of agricultureagricultural have proved to be a boon for us. We are now able to feed 1.2billion people on our own and yet have a surplus amount. This has also improved the plight of farmers and has relieved huge pressure from our economy by becoming an exporter of food grain rather than an importer.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its detailed explanation of how agricultural advances changed food production, livelihoods, and national self-sufficiency in India, using specific historical contrasts and examples. Its main limitation is presentation: the entire essay forms one paragraph, the chosen “discovery” is defined rather broadly, and several awkward grammatical patterns recur. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the argument into purposeful paragraphs and identify the central agricultural innovation more precisely before developing its effects.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response clearly selects agricultural advances and develops their benefits with substantial relevant detail, though the choice is broader than a single discovery.
Define one central discovery or innovation at the outset and organise the supporting examples around its specific impact.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a clear chronological and causal progression, but the absence of paragraph breaks weakens the organisation and makes the long response harder to navigate.
Divide the essay into an introduction, a paragraph on earlier agricultural problems, a paragraph on modern improvements and benefits, and a conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of topic-specific vocabulary, with occasional inaccurate word forms and collocations that do not prevent understanding.
Refine recurring expressions such as “irrigational facilities,” “surplus amount,” and “field of agricultural” into natural forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but recurring errors with articles, agreement, conjunctions, and noun forms limit accuracy.
Check articles and singular-plural agreement, and avoid double-linking structures such as “although” followed by “but.”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
What discovery in the last 100 years has been most beneficial for people in your country? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.