What discovery in the last 100 years has been most beneficial for people in your country? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.
Sample Response
There have been various discoveries in last century that have helped my country to improve the people's standard of living and have made their life easier. Discoveries such as telephones, internet and advancement in medicine field have been proven to be very important for changing and shaping people’s lives. But the discovery that has proved to be most beneficial is the advancements in agriculture field such as improved irrigational facilities and improved fertilisers. India is primarily an agricultural nation, where still 60% of the population lives in villages. People mostly depend on agriculture and related activities for their livelihood. In earlier days, people were mainly dependent on monsoon and did not have an alternative method of irrigation. If monsoon failed, it would result in drought and hundreds of people would either die or become bankrupt. Also, with the poor quality of seed and bad farming practices, the output generally remained low and the majority of the crops were destroyed by rodents and worms/insects. We were not self-sufficient in producing food grains and hence had to import it from other countries. But with the advent of technologies and new improved farming practices, India's agricultural production has surged. We are no longer only dependent on monsoon. Although monsoon still remains as a major source of irrigation, but now we have dams and irrigational channels that provide water for cultivation throughout the year. The government has also focused on providing education on new and improved seeds, fertilisers and new farming techniques such as crop rotation. With the use of these new techniques, we have not only become self-sufficient in the production of our food grain but have a surplus amount for several years. India has also become an exporter of many food grains such as rice, wheat, sugar etc. This has not only helped our economy to grow but also made life easier for all Indians. In a nutshell, the discoveries made in the field of agricultural have proved to be a boon for us. We are now able to feed 1.2billion people on our own and yet have a surplus amount. This has also improved the plight of farmers and has relieved huge pressure from our economy by becoming an exporter of food grain rather than an importer.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add definite article Original: in last century Suggested revision: in the last century Why it matters: The specific period “last century” requires the definite article.
- 2. Remove unnecessary article Original: the people's standard of living Suggested revision: people's standard of living Why it matters: The generic plural possessive does not need the preceding article “the.”
- 3. Use plural noun Original: have made their life easier Suggested revision: have made their lives easier Why it matters: The plural referent “people” requires the plural noun “lives.”
- 4. Fix articles and forms Original: telephones, internet and advancement in medicine field Suggested revision: telephones, the internet, and advances in medicine Why it matters: The revision supplies the article for “internet” and uses natural plural and prepositional forms.
- 5. Fix number agreement Original: is the advancements Suggested revision: is the advancement Why it matters: The singular complement agrees with “the discovery.”
- 6. Use natural field phrase Original: in agriculture field Suggested revision: in the field of agriculture Why it matters: The revision uses the standard expression for an academic or practical field.
- 7. Use correct modifier Original: improved irrigational facilities Suggested revision: improved irrigation facilities Why it matters: The noun “irrigation” is the natural modifier for facilities.
- 8. Add article and streamline Original: were mainly dependent on monsoon Suggested revision: relied mainly on the monsoon Why it matters: The monsoon takes the definite article, and “relied on” states the relationship directly.
- 9. Add definite article Original: If monsoon failed Suggested revision: If the monsoon failed Why it matters: The reference to the annual monsoon requires the definite article.
- 10. Clarify category relation Original: worms/insects Suggested revision: worms and other insects Why it matters: The conjunction states the relationship more clearly than a slash.
- 11. Fix pronoun agreement Original: import it from other countries Suggested revision: import them from other countries Why it matters: The pronoun must agree with the plural antecedent “food grains.”
- 12. Use natural mass noun Original: advent of technologies Suggested revision: advent of new technology Why it matters: “Technology” is more natural as a mass noun in this general statement.
Suggested Rewrites
- in last century in the last century
- the people's standard of living people's standard of living
- have made their life easier have made their lives easier
- telephones, internet and advancement in medicine field telephones, the internet, and advances in medicine
- is the advancements is the advancement
- in agriculture field in the field of agriculture
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its detailed explanation of how agricultural advances changed food production, livelihoods, and national self-sufficiency in India, using specific historical contrasts and examples. Its main limitation is presentation: the entire essay forms one paragraph, the chosen “discovery” is defined rather broadly, and several awkward grammatical patterns recur. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the argument into purposeful paragraphs and identify the central agricultural innovation more precisely before developing its effects.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response clearly selects agricultural advances and develops their benefits with substantial relevant detail, though the choice is broader than a single discovery.
Define one central discovery or innovation at the outset and organise the supporting examples around its specific impact.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a clear chronological and causal progression, but the absence of paragraph breaks weakens the organisation and makes the long response harder to navigate.
Divide the essay into an introduction, a paragraph on earlier agricultural problems, a paragraph on modern improvements and benefits, and a conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of topic-specific vocabulary, with occasional inaccurate word forms and collocations that do not prevent understanding.
Refine recurring expressions such as “irrigational facilities,” “surplus amount,” and “field of agricultural” into natural forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but recurring errors with articles, agreement, conjunctions, and noun forms limit accuracy.
Check articles and singular-plural agreement, and avoid double-linking structures such as “although” followed by “but.”
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
What discovery in the last 100 years has been most beneficial for people in your country? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.