People have different hobbies ranging from reading books to mountain hiking. According to some, hobbies must be difficult to be enjoyable while other oppose the idea. What is your viewpoint on this? Write no less than 250 words.
Sample Response
Many people contend that leisure activities should be highlyextra challenging to be more enjoyablefun. While this may motivateprovoke a person to reach his full potential, I disagree with this notion.
Pastime, which should prioritise safety, is created not only for competition but also to observe camaraderie. Nonetheless, people who engage in their chosen hobbiesengage themselves to their specific hobbies should always stay safe while participatingmaintain safety in what they do while promoting team spirit. For instanceFor an instance, playing a specific sport thatwhich involves physical contact, like basketball, should keep players injury-free until the end of the game. Hence, rules are set prior each game to avoid causing harm to their opponents, yet enjoyable still. A case in point is my experience ofin playing soccer when in high school. When my coach set out the planlaid the plan, the goal was to win the game; additionally, precautions were taken beforehandprecautions are observed beforehand. The game was enjoyed by both teams playingboth the teams in play and the audience.
Another sound reason is that leisure activities are already enjoyable in their authentic form without the need to be recreated. To illustrate, activities such asactivities like movie watching, beach surfing, or even playing cards are commonly chosen by many peoplecommonly preferred by many people to do in their free time. Nevertheless, changing these is unnecessary, because their purpose would otherwise be obscuredlest its purpose is no longer highlighted. It is entirely true because hobbies provide immeasurable and worthwhile entertainment within a person's routineentertainment out of a person's routinely customised schedule. This reminds me of a time whenThis refreshes my memory when all I had to think aboutof, when at a beach, is to enjoy its scenery. Every moment spent with someone special, even when it is undemandingin its most undemanding nature, is worth treasuring for a lifetimeworth treasuring a lifetime.
Overall, I think hobbies, in their simplest forms, always provide priceless satisfaction, despite others arguingdespite others who argued that they should be more challenging. Furthermore, someone does not need to modify a certain task in order to enjoy it, rather the company of others makes everything more valuable.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is strongest in its clear disagreement with the claim and its attempt to support that position through sports and relaxing leisure activities. Its main limitation is that the first body paragraph focuses mainly on safety and camaraderie rather than explaining whether difficulty creates enjoyment, while recurrent awkward wording weakens otherwise relevant ideas. The highest-priority improvement is to develop two direct reasons why challenge is optional, each supported by a concise example that clearly links back to enjoyment.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear viewpoint is maintained and supported with examples, but the safety discussion is only indirectly related to whether difficult hobbies are more enjoyable.
Base each body paragraph on a direct reason that enjoyment can come from relaxation, companionship, mastery, or personal preference without added difficulty.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a clear paragraph structure and overall progression, although some internal links are mechanical and several supporting sentences drift from their main claim.
Open each body paragraph with a precise reason and remove any sentence that does not directly explain that reason.
Lexical Resource
There is an adequate range of vocabulary and some ambitious phrasing, but frequent unnatural collocations and imprecise choices reduce clarity.
Prefer simple natural phrases over expressions such as “observe camaraderie,” “authentic form,” and “routinely customised schedule.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex structures, but errors in articles, prepositions, agreement, referencing, and clause formation recur.
Check sentence completeness and pronoun reference, especially in examples where the subject changes between hobbies, players, and activities.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People have different hobbies ranging from reading books to mountain hiking. According to some, hobbies must be difficult to be enjoyable while other oppose the idea. What is your viewpoint on this? Write no less than 250 words.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.