Many doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, but most patients do not follow an exercise routine. Why do you think this happens? How can people be encouraged to exercise regularly?
Sample Response
A large proportion of healthcare professionals reportfind that their advice to older people about exerciseelderly people concerning exercise is not heeded. In my opinion, this is due to practical concerns and the most effective encouragement would come from government initiativesthe best encouragement would be through government initiatives.
The reasons senior citizens have difficulty staying fit are physical and economic. Firstly, older people naturally suffer from a range of conditions of varying severityminor or major and debilitating conditions such as poor cardiovascular health, arthritis, and dementia. Each presents unique challenges to a regular exercise routinea regular exercise regular routine. Moreover, older people are often unable to afford the costs of taking up a new sportcosts associated with learning a new sport or joining a gym. In the United States, most older peopleIn the United States most older people survive on a fixed income and must set aside money for medical bills. Sports equipment is simply not a priority.
There is little that can be done to preventdeter the natural ageing process but the financial barriersimpediments can be effectively tackled by building more public parks and facilities. An older person living in an urban area may lack easy access to a park or transportation to reach a more distant onethe transportation to travel to one far away. However, if there was one within walking distance they would be encouraged to exercise habitually. This habit could also be reinforced through social interactionreinforced by social interactions. Many older people are lonely and seek companions of a similar agecompanions from their generation. By making friends and regularly meeting to walk andto exercise in the park, as is common in many East Asian nations, they can create lasting bonds that will also encourage them to stay fit.
In conclusion, many older people are physically or financiallyeconomically unable to exercise regularly and this can be partly remediedand the this can be partly remedied with greater investment in public spaces. The benefits of such a reform would benefitimpact other segments of the population as well.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response directly answers both questions with a clear account of physical and financial barriers and a well-developed proposal involving accessible public spaces and social support. Its main limitation is occasional awkward wording and grammatical slips that slightly reduce polish, while the treatment of physical limitations could be more fully connected to the solution. Prioritise editing for accuracy and tailoring the proposed measures to both identified causes.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are addressed directly with relevant, developed explanations of barriers and practical encouragement measures.
Add a specific measure for older people with physical limitations so that the solution responds equally well to every identified cause.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through causes and solutions, with focused paragraphs and generally natural cohesion.
Make the transition from physical barriers to the mainly financial and access-based solution more explicit to tighten the argument.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of precise topic vocabulary conveys nuanced ideas, despite a few awkward word choices and repetitions.
Edit collocations such as deter the ageing process and walk to exercise so that sophisticated vocabulary remains fully natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are frequent and generally well controlled, although several local errors and repetitions prevent greater accuracy.
Proofread for duplicated words, article errors, and conditional agreement, especially in sentences proposing hypothetical facilities.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, but most patients do not follow an exercise routine. Why do you think this happens? How can people be encouraged to exercise regularly?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.