The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?
Same question Compare all 2 answers See different approaches and band scores for this IELTS task.Sample Response
The rise of online shopping has undoubtedly transformed the way people make purchases. With the convenience and accessibility it offers, some argue that traditional shops will eventually become obsolete, leading to the closure of all physical stores in towns and cities. This essay presents arguments supporting the notion that it could indeed lead to the closure of physical shops one day.
One of the primary reasons behind this is the increasing popularity of online shopping. It offers unparalleled convenience to consumers. With just a few clicks, shoppers can browse through a vast range of products from the comfort of their homes, eliminating the need to travel to physical stores. The COVID-19 pandemic highlighted the significance of online shopping when restrictions and lockdowns prompted people to rely heavily on e-commerce platforms to meet their needs. This shift in consumer behaviour accelerated the growth of online shopping and demonstrated its potential to replace traditional shopping methods in the future.
Not only does online shopping benefit consumers, but it also offers advantages to retailers. E-commerce platforms allow businesses to reach a global customer base, expanding their market reach beyond local boundaries. A small artisanal business that sells handmade crafts can now showcase and sell its products to customers worldwide through online marketplaces, a feat that would have been challenging or impossible with a physical store in a local town or city. Due to these benefits, many businesses will run online rather than renting a physical store.
In conclusion, the growth of online shopping is a powerful trend that is reshaping the retail landscape. The convenience and accessibility it offers to consumers, coupled with the advantages it brings to retailers, make it a formidable force in the market. It is evident that online shopping will continue to thrive and evolve in the coming years replacing the need for brick-and-mortar shops.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Tighten the opening phrase Original: With the convenience and accessibility it offers Suggested revision: Given its convenience and accessibility Why it matters: The replacement expresses the same cause more concisely and naturally.
- 2. Use a direct verb Original: presents arguments supporting the notion Suggested revision: argues Why it matters: A direct reporting verb makes the thesis more concise and forceful.
- 3. Clarify the reference Original: that it could indeed lead Suggested revision: that online shopping could lead Why it matters: Naming online shopping removes the potentially vague pronoun reference.
- 4. Clarify the reference Original: One of the primary reasons behind this Suggested revision: One primary reason for this prediction Why it matters: The replacement makes the backward reference to the forecast of shop closures explicit.
- 5. Remove redundant particle Original: browse through Suggested revision: browse Why it matters: Browse already conveys looking through products, so through is unnecessary here.
- 6. Show the causal link Original: when restrictions and lockdowns Suggested revision: as restrictions and lockdowns Why it matters: As more clearly signals that the restrictions caused greater reliance on online shopping.
- 7. Avoid lexical repetition Original: global customer base, expanding their market reach beyond local boundaries Suggested revision: global customer base, extending their reach beyond local boundaries Why it matters: Removing the repeated market produces a cleaner expression without changing the meaning.
- 8. Correct business collocation Original: will run online Suggested revision: will operate online Why it matters: Businesses operate online; run online is not the appropriate collocation in this structure.
- 9. Use precise wording Original: formidable force in the market Suggested revision: major force in retail Why it matters: The replacement is more specific to the essay's retail context and less inflated.
- 10. Add comma and fix collocation Original: coming years replacing the need for Suggested revision: coming years, reducing the need for Why it matters: The participial phrase needs a comma, and reducing the need is the correct collocation.
- 11. Remove redundant timing Original: in the future Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: Potential already indicates a future possibility, making this time phrase repetitive.
Suggested Rewrites
- With the convenience and accessibility it offers Given its convenience and accessibility
- presents arguments supporting the notion argues
- that it could indeed lead that online shopping could lead
- One of the primary reasons behind this One primary reason for this prediction
- browse through browse
- when restrictions and lockdowns as restrictions and lockdowns
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its clear position, logical organisation, and well-explained examples of convenience for consumers and wider market access for retailers. Its main limitation is that these trends show why many stores may close but do not establish the absolute claim that all urban shops will disappear, since no persistent advantages of physical retail are considered. The highest-priority improvement is to confront that absolute prediction and explain why even experience-based or essential local stores would eventually be replaced.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response maintains a clear position and develops relevant reasons with examples, but its evidence supports widespread decline more convincingly than the closure of every physical shop.
Address likely exceptions such as services, immediate purchases, and products customers prefer to inspect, then justify why the prediction still holds or qualify the position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress smoothly through focused paragraphs from the consumer perspective to the retailer perspective and a consistent conclusion.
Strengthen the logical bridge to the conclusion by explicitly showing how the two advantages would eliminate, rather than merely reduce, demand for physical stores.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and naturally suited to retail, consumer behaviour, and e-commerce, with strong control throughout.
Maintain the strong lexical range while avoiding slight repetition of “convenience and accessibility” between the introduction and conclusion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used accurately and flexibly, with only rare minor punctuation lapses.
Add the missing comma before the final participial phrase in the conclusion and continue proofreading long sentences for punctuation.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.