Psychological illnesses may not be as obvious as physical disabilities or illnesses, nevertheless they are just as disabling in their own way. Society, however, is more accepting of those with physical than psychological illnesses or disabilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Same question Compare 2 different answersSample Response
Mental illnesses can significantly impact an individual's ability to function in their daily life, yet they are often invisible and harder to understand than physical illnesses. This can lead to society being less accepting of people with psychological illnesses compared to those with physical issues, and this essay completely agrees with this view.
The invisibility of psychological illnesses does not make them any less real or severe. People with mental illnesses often struggle with daily tasks and may experience a great deal of pain and suffering. This invisibility can also make it difficult for individuals to receive the support and resources they need to manage their illnesses. Society's lack of understanding and acceptance can also lead to stigmatization and discrimination, further exacerbating the struggles of those with psychological illnesses. For instance, according to a recent article published in the Women's Health magazine, nine out of ten women - who suffer from mental illnesses, think of ending their life at some point. This is quite disturbing considering the high percentages of such cases.
Moreover, the number of hospitals, diagnostic centres, doctors and healthcare service providers that we have to treat our physical ailments is far greater than the number of psychologists or mental therapists we have. The discrimination is even more severe in poor and developing countries where people do not have adequate means to seek medical help when they are ill, let alone talk to a psychoanalyst about their mental issues. This discrimination clearly outlines the societal biases towards our physical illness than our physiological sufferings.
In conclusion, it is crucial to raise awareness and educate people about psychological illnesses while also offering mental help when needed. This can help to reduce the stigma and increase acceptance and understanding of mental problems as they are not less severe than physical sickness.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Match plural reference Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The plural reference to individuals requires the plural noun “lives.”
- 2. Use possessive gerund Original: society Suggested revision: society’s Why it matters: The possessive form formally marks “society” as the subject of the gerund.
- 3. Use personal position Original: this essay completely agrees Suggested revision: I completely agree Why it matters: A person, rather than an essay, holds an opinion.
- 4. Remove article Original: the Women's Health magazine Suggested revision: Women's Health magazine Why it matters: The publication name does not take the definite article in this construction.
- 5. Remove faulty interruption Original: women - who suffer from mental illnesses, think Suggested revision: women who suffer from mental illnesses think Why it matters: The defining relative clause should not be separated from its noun by a dash or comma.
- 6. Use plural noun Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The plural pronoun referring to multiple women requires the plural noun “lives.”
- 7. Use singular proportion Original: percentages Suggested revision: percentage Why it matters: A single reported proportion is expressed with the singular noun “percentage.”
- 8. Use professional term Original: mental therapists Suggested revision: psychotherapists Why it matters: “Psychotherapist” is the established term for a professional providing psychological therapy.
- 9. Use precise phrase Original: their mental issues Suggested revision: their mental health issues Why it matters: Adding “health” identifies the issues as psychological conditions rather than cognitive matters.
- 10. Use natural support term Original: offering mental help Suggested revision: offering mental health support Why it matters: “Mental health support” is the standard expression for assistance with psychological illness.
- 11. Use concise comparison Original: not less severe than physical sickness Suggested revision: no less severe than physical illnesses Why it matters: “No less severe” is the natural comparative form, and the plural noun matches the essay's terminology.
- 12. Complete the comparison Original: compared to those with physical issues Suggested revision: than of those with physical conditions Why it matters: The “less accepting” comparison requires parallel possessive objects after “of.”
Suggested Rewrites
- life lives
- society society’s
- this essay completely agrees I completely agree
- the Women's Health magazine Women's Health magazine
- women - who suffer from mental illnesses, think women who suffer from mental illnesses think
- life lives
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear agreement with the proposition and its coherent explanation of how invisibility, stigma, and limited support disadvantage people with mental illness. Its main limitation is that the healthcare-capacity comparison is sometimes treated as direct proof of social discrimination without fully establishing that link, and several word choices blur the intended meaning. The highest-priority improvement is to connect each example more explicitly to differences in social acceptance.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly answers the question with a consistent position and relevant ideas about stigma and unequal support, though parts of the second argument are not fully substantiated.
Show more explicitly how fewer mental-health services demonstrate lower social acceptance rather than broader shortages in healthcare provision.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organised into clear paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader effectively despite some repetitive demonstrative referencing.
Vary internal transitions and make the logical bridge between service availability and societal bias more explicit.
Lexical Resource
The response displays a good range of relevant vocabulary, but imprecise choices such as physiological sufferings and mental help occasionally distort or weaken meaning.
Distinguish psychological from physiological language and use established expressions such as mental-health support and psychological suffering.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is handled with generally good control, although punctuation, comparison forms, and noun agreement contain occasional errors.
Edit comparative and relative-clause structures carefully, particularly phrases using more than, attitudes towards, and inserted non-defining clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Psychological illnesses may not be as obvious as physical disabilities or illnesses, nevertheless they are just as disabling in their own way. Society, however, is more accepting of those with physical than psychological illnesses or disabilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.