Psychological illnesses may not be as obvious as physical disabilities or illnesses, nevertheless they are just as disabling in their own way. Society, however, is more accepting of those with physical than psychological illnesses or disabilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Same question Compare 2 different answersSample Response
In recent years, there has been a significant shift in the way society views and treats those with psychological illnesses. Gone are the days when mental health issues were seen as taboo subjects or something to be ashamed of. Instead, people are now beginning to recognize the seriousness of such conditions and are more accepting of those who suffer from them. Therefore, I disagree with the notion that society is more accepting of those with physical illnesses than psychological illnesses.
One reason for this change in attitude is the increase in awareness campaigns and advocacy groups, which have helped to educate people on the realities of mental illness. Through social media, public service announcements, and other forms of outreach, individuals are now more informed and empathetic towards those struggling with psychological disorders. Moreover, celebrities and public figures have come forward to share their own experiences with mental health, further contributing to the normalization of such issues.
Another reason is the growing number of mental health professionals and resources available to those in need. Many organizations and institutions now offer counselling services, support groups, and other forms of treatment for those suffering from mental illness. This increased access to care has helped to reduce the stigma surrounding psychological disorders and has made it easier for individuals to seek help without fear of judgment.
In conclusion, while it is true that society has historically been more accepting of those with physical disabilities or illnesses, the tides are changing with regard to psychological illnesses. Through increased awareness, education, and access to care, people are beginning to view mental health issues with the seriousness they deserve. As such, it is essential to continue these efforts and promote a culture of empathy and understanding towards those who suffer from psychological illnesses.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise phrasing Original: significant shift in the way society views and treats Suggested revision: significant shift in society's attitudes toward and treatment of Why it matters: This wording expresses the same idea more directly and precisely.
- 2. Make items parallel Original: taboo subjects or something to be ashamed of Suggested revision: taboo subjects or sources of shame Why it matters: Coordinated alternatives should use parallel noun forms.
- 3. Remove time redundancy Original: now beginning to recognize Suggested revision: increasingly recognizing Why it matters: The revision avoids the overlapping time markers in “now beginning”.
- 4. Clarify the increase Original: the increase in awareness campaigns and advocacy groups Suggested revision: the growth of awareness campaigns and advocacy groups Why it matters: “Growth” applies more naturally to both campaigns and groups.
- 5. Use natural preposition Original: on Suggested revision: about Why it matters: “Educate people about” is the more natural collocation here.
- 6. Use neutral wording Original: empathetic towards those struggling with Suggested revision: empathetic toward people living with Why it matters: This phrasing is more neutral while preserving the intended meaning.
- 7. Specify the experience Original: experiences with mental health Suggested revision: experiences of mental health difficulties Why it matters: The revision identifies the difficulties being discussed more precisely.
- 8. Clarify what normalizes Original: normalization of such issues Suggested revision: normalization of discussions about such issues Why it matters: The discussion of mental health, rather than the conditions themselves, is what becomes normalized.
- 9. Fix coordinated nouns Original: growing number of mental health professionals and resources Suggested revision: growing number of mental health professionals and the increasing range of resources Why it matters: “Number” can modify professionals but not the uncountable noun “resources” in this structure.
- 10. Use formal wording Original: the tides are changing with regard to psychological illnesses Suggested revision: attitudes toward psychological illnesses are changing Why it matters: The revision replaces a conversational metaphor with precise academic wording.
- 11. Use person-first wording Original: those who suffer from psychological illnesses Suggested revision: people living with psychological illnesses Why it matters: This wording is more neutral and avoids repeating “suffer” from earlier paragraphs.
Suggested Rewrites
- significant shift in the way society views and treats significant shift in society's attitudes toward and treatment of
- taboo subjects or something to be ashamed of taboo subjects or sources of shame
- now beginning to recognize increasingly recognizing
- the increase in awareness campaigns and advocacy groups the growth of awareness campaigns and advocacy groups
- on about
- empathetic towards those struggling with empathetic toward people living with
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear, consistent disagreement and is strongest when explaining how awareness campaigns and access to care have reduced stigma. Its main limitation is that the reasons mostly show improving acceptance rather than directly demonstrating that psychological illness is now accepted as readily as physical illness. The highest-priority improvement is to develop an explicit comparison, supported by a concrete example or qualification, between society’s treatment of the two categories.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported with relevant explanations, though the central comparison with acceptance of physical illness remains insufficiently demonstrated.
Directly compare social reactions, support, or discrimination affecting psychological and physical conditions, and qualify the conclusion accordingly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a focused introduction, two distinct supporting reasons, and a consistent conclusion, with cohesive devices used effectively.
Make the relationship between each reason and the precise comparative claim even more explicit at the ends of the body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, natural, and precise, with effective expressions for changing attitudes, stigma, advocacy, and access to care.
Add more specific comparative language to distinguish growing awareness from genuinely equal social acceptance.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and fluently, with only negligible lapses that do not affect communication.
Refine sentence variety further by occasionally replacing extended complex sentences with shorter emphatic statements at key argumentative points.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Psychological illnesses may not be as obvious as physical disabilities or illnesses, nevertheless they are just as disabling in their own way. Society, however, is more accepting of those with physical than psychological illnesses or disabilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
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