Far too little has been done to prevent animals and plants from dying out, although people have been aware of this problem for a long time. Why do people do so little about it? How can we prevent animals and plants from going extinct?
Same question Compare 2 different answersSample Response
The earth is shared by millions of species, and they all have the right to survive and reproduce. While this is what we humans know, we do too little to save endangered species, even though many of them are on the verge of extinction due to our activities. We are oblivion to the situation and think that extinction is very slow. We should take immediate measures to save endangered species.
We do not take enough measures to prevent many flora and fauna from going extinct because we do not understand the true scale of this demise. Whenever we are confronted with discussions or questions related to this, we imagine that a few species are lost each year while the number is as high as ten thousand. For instance, a recent survey revealed a surprising result where most adults thought the extinction rate was below a hundred a year. Since we are not aware of the speed at which extinction is happening, we are not concerned about it.
Moreover, we think that extinction is a natural process, and we have very little to do about it. This misconception often is the reason we do very little to reverse the situation. For instance, around 73% of university students in the State of Michigan expressed their opinion that extinction is a natural process even though some species go extinct due to human activities. This impression is misguided since an overwhelming percentage, around ninety-six per cent, of mammal species went extinct in the last hundred years because of human expansions and activities alone.
To prevent species from getting lost forever, we need to enact laws that prevent incendiary human activities that destroy the natural habitats of animals and plants. Natural habitat loss is one of the leading causes of species extinction. For instance, according to a recent survey, more than fifteen thousand animals and plant species were gone forever due to illegal logging activities in just the last four years. Moreover, awareness campaigns and education programmes can bring favourable results as many people are unaware of the reason and preventive measures for animal and plant extinctions.
In conclusion, we do little about species extinction because we either fail to realise how fast it is happening and how we are responsible for that. We should take immediate measures to prevent it by passing laws and through public awareness programmes.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use direct concession Original: While this is what we humans know Suggested revision: Although humans know this Why it matters: The revised clause expresses the concession more directly and naturally.
- 2. Use adjective form Original: oblivion Suggested revision: oblivious Why it matters: “Oblivious” is the adjective meaning unaware, while “oblivion” is a noun.
- 3. Describe the process Original: extinction is very slow Suggested revision: extinction occurs very slowly Why it matters: The added verb and adverb correctly describe the perceived speed of the process.
- 4. Use countable species Original: prevent many flora and fauna Suggested revision: prevent many species of flora and fauna Why it matters: “Flora” and “fauna” are collective uncountable nouns and cannot follow “many” directly.
- 5. Use suitable loss term Original: demise Suggested revision: loss Why it matters: “Loss” refers naturally to disappearing species, whereas “demise” usually describes an individual death or ending.
- 6. Clarify the reference Original: discussions or questions related to this Suggested revision: discussions or questions about species extinction Why it matters: Naming the topic removes the vague pronoun reference.
- 7. Clarify limited estimate Original: a few species are lost each year Suggested revision: only a few species are lost each year Why it matters: “Only” makes clear that this is presented as an underestimate.
- 8. Fix relative structure Original: a surprising result where Suggested revision: a surprising result showing that Why it matters: A result shows a finding; it is not a place introduced by “where.”
- 9. Use count comparison Original: below a hundred a year Suggested revision: fewer than one hundred species per year Why it matters: Countable species take “fewer than,” and the unit must be stated.
- 10. Place adverb naturally Original: This misconception often is Suggested revision: This misconception is often Why it matters: The frequency adverb normally follows the linking verb “is.”
- 11. Clarify perceived control Original: very little to do about it Suggested revision: little ability to change it Why it matters: The replacement clearly expresses the belief that people cannot influence extinction.
- 12. Use concise reporting Original: expressed their opinion that Suggested revision: stated that Why it matters: The reporting verb conveys the same idea more concisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- While this is what we humans know Although humans know this
- oblivion oblivious
- extinction is very slow extinction occurs very slowly
- prevent many flora and fauna prevent many species of flora and fauna
- demise loss
- discussions or questions related to this discussions or questions about species extinction
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response addresses both causes and solutions directly, with a clear structure, relevant development, and effective examples. Its main limitation is imprecise word choice and a few awkward grammatical constructions, which occasionally weaken an otherwise persuasive discussion. The highest-priority improvement is to replace strained collocations with natural phrasing while developing the proposed legal and educational measures as fully as the causes.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are fully addressed through two developed causes and relevant legal and educational solutions.
Develop the proposed solutions with the same depth and specificity given to the causes.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used clearly and effectively.
Refine a few transitions and the conclusion's final cause statement so their logical relationships are completely precise.
Lexical Resource
A wide topic-specific vocabulary supports precise discussion, although several collocations and word choices are inaccurate.
Replace expressions such as "oblivion to" and "incendiary human activities" with natural, context-appropriate alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex structures is generally well controlled, with only occasional agreement and construction errors.
Proofread complex sentences for parallel structure, article use, and agreement before finalising the response.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Far too little has been done to prevent animals and plants from dying out, although people have been aware of this problem for a long time. Why do people do so little about it? How can we prevent animals and plants from going extinct?
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