It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. Dinosaur, dodos …) There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?
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Sample Response
Some people believe that the extinction of animals happens naturally and it is not vita l to prevent this global problemavoid this global issue before it becomes worse. I completely disagree with this idea for several reasonsbecause of several reasons discussed in this essay.
In fact, dinosaurs were one of the extinct animals that were killed by the meteorite falling to the Earth. However, these days, it is undeniable that the development of the modern world is a major cause of habitat destructiongrowth of the modern world is critical to destroying natural habitats. First of all, we clearly see the expansion of factories all over the world. It can lead to habitat loss forof many wild animals, leaving many animals without a place to liveresulting in many animals not having a place to live, while others find it difficult to adapt to a new environment. Moreover, both terrestrial and marine animals are currently being hunted extensivelycurrently being extensively hunted, because they are mistakenly believedas they are falsely believed to be essential for human health. This action may push many animal species to the verge of extinction.
Another justificationOther justifications for saving wild animals involve their importance in the food chain. Firstly, every animal plays a specific role in the ecosystem and is closely connected toclosely connects to other animals. If one animal goes extinct, one link in the larger ecosystem breaksone chain in the large ecosystem breaks and nature can be badly affectedcan be affected badly. For instance, the decliningfalling number of lions in America can lead to the increase inof baboons, which can consequently damage the crop yieldsproduction in the area.. In addition, animals are also a vital source of foodparamount food source. If domesticated animals disappear, humans will have to resorthumans have to resort to plant-based foodsvegetarian meat which might lack nutrients.
In conclusion, human actions are the crucial factor leading to the extinction of many animals. It is crucial that we take action to address this problemdo something to deal with this problem in order to maintain the biodiversitydiversity of biodiversity.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response maintains a clear position and supports it with relevant arguments about human responsibility and ecological consequences. Its main limitation is that some support is imprecise or questionable, particularly the claims about lions, baboons, and domesticated animals, while several awkward expressions reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each reason with accurate, directly relevant evidence and more natural phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear disagreement is sustained and supported by two relevant lines of argument, though some examples are insufficiently convincing or precise.
Replace the weaker food-source and wildlife examples with accurate evidence that directly explains why preventing extinction is necessary.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised into purposeful paragraphs with clear overall progression and generally effective linking.
Strengthen the internal progression of the third paragraph so each example follows more directly from the ecosystem argument.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, but several spelling and collocational problems reduce precision and naturalness.
Check word forms and collocations such as those concerning habitat destruction, population decline, and biodiversity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates meaning clearly, although agreement, article, punctuation, and phrasing errors recur.
Proofread complex sentences for subject-verb agreement, articles, and punctuation, especially where clauses are combined.