Report research suggests that majority of criminals who were sent to prison would commit crimes when they are set free. What do you think of this case? What to be done to solve this problem?
Sample Response
It is a serious and glaring threat to the society, those who have been prosecuted to jail trial and still have a mindset to prevail the crime when they are free. This fueling issue needs to be actionable by intervening with nabbed laws and strict rules to avoid happenings in future. Let's discuss some preventive measures could be considered. Firstly, the quality of life in prison should make it very difficult that some individuals been in prison must think that life in prison is miserable. Apparently, in school studies itself needs to educate the importance of life and the humanity should be developed in each individual's life. In most of the documentary regarding the life in prison shown as very simple and has all facilities. These needs to eradicate, and the facility been offered should be limited. Moreover, the government official can identify these trend people and medicate them for counselling to recover. In addition to that, the government needs to study the cause and reason behind on each individual who has been prosecuted. The trend of committing the crime is often because of poverty and lack of opportunity for each individual. Those who have educated know the importance of life and will not avail these kinds of activities, perhaps on the other hand people who have been struggling for their daily life, tends to commit crimes. It is more on individual's responsibility to take care of them and their surroundings. Each division or urban society can learn their own people's problem and try resolving, if these is been taken care it will be a drastic change, There is a saying ‘little drops make an ocean’. We need to set protocol to follow right rules and disciplinary behaviour in each individual's home, which makes external life easier. In conclusion, to commit crimes again and again or to live an awesome life is individual's responsibility. Everyone needs to understand the importance of life, to respect others in all sense and to safeguard the society. Those who have been prosecuted are needed to be given ample opportunity to survive and to recover out of it.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a natural issue phrase Original: fueling Suggested revision: growing Why it matters: Growing issue is the natural collocation for a problem becoming more serious.
- 2. Use the correct passive verb Original: actionable Suggested revision: addressed Why it matters: A problem is addressed, whereas actionable describes information or a plan.
- 3. Use meaningful legal wording Original: nabbed Suggested revision: stronger Why it matters: Nabbed does not describe laws, while stronger preserves the intended call for stricter controls.
- 4. Name future offences clearly Original: avoid happenings in future Suggested revision: prevent future offences Why it matters: The replacement identifies the events to be prevented in a concise formal phrase.
- 5. Fix the education subject Original: in school studies itself needs Suggested revision: school curricula need Why it matters: The plural subject curricula takes need and naturally refers to what schools teach.
- 6. Use the teaching collocation Original: educate Suggested revision: teach Why it matters: Teach a concept is the correct collocation, while educate normally takes a person as its object.
- 7. Clarify the intended values Original: the humanity should be developed Suggested revision: human values should be fostered Why it matters: The replacement expresses the development of humane behaviour in a natural phrase.
- 8. Use the plural noun Original: In most of the documentary Suggested revision: In most documentaries Why it matters: Most takes a plural count noun without the definite article in this general statement.
- 9. Fix reference and passive form Original: These needs to eradicate Suggested revision: This portrayal needs to be corrected Why it matters: The singular reference and passive construction clearly identify what should change.
- 10. Use plural passive wording Original: facility been offered Suggested revision: facilities being offered Why it matters: The plural noun and present participle form the required passive phrase.
- 11. Use the plural officials Original: official Suggested revision: officials Why it matters: The general reference requires the plural count noun officials.
- 12. Describe the behaviour clearly Original: these trend people Suggested revision: people showing this pattern Why it matters: The replacement conveys the intended recurring behaviour in natural English.
Suggested Rewrites
- fueling growing
- actionable addressed
- nabbed stronger
- avoid happenings in future prevent future offences
- in school studies itself needs school curricula need
- educate teach
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response identifies recidivism as serious and proposes several potentially relevant measures, including counselling, studying individual causes and improving opportunities. Its main limitation is that the argument is contradictory and difficult to follow: it advocates harsher prison conditions while later supporting rehabilitation, and frequent language errors obscure many claims. Choose a clear rehabilitation-focused position, organise causes and solutions into separate paragraphs, and express each measure in direct, grammatically complete sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both the problem and possible solutions are addressed, but the central view is unclear and many proposed measures are insufficiently explained or mutually inconsistent.
Adopt one coherent approach and develop two linked solutions, such as rehabilitation in prison and employment support after release.
Coherence and Cohesion
Some basic sequencing markers are present, but the single dense paragraph, abrupt shifts and weak referencing make the line of reasoning difficult to follow.
Use an introduction, one paragraph on causes, one on solutions and a conclusion, with each paragraph built around a clear topic sentence.
Lexical Resource
There is an attempt to use varied vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate choices such as "prevail the crime," "nabbed laws" and "trend people" obscure meaning.
Use precise core terms such as "reoffend," "rehabilitation," "former prisoners," "counselling" and "employment opportunities."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in sentence boundaries, verb forms, agreement, articles and clause construction often make meaning hard to retrieve.
Write shorter subject-verb-object sentences and check every clause for a finite verb before combining ideas.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Report research suggests that majority of criminals who were sent to prison would commit crimes when they are set free. What do you think of this case? What to be done to solve this problem?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.