Report research suggests that majority of criminals who were sent to prison would commit crimes when they are set free. What do you think of this case? What to be done to solve this problem?
Sample Response
Nowadays, a large number of criminals have been sent to the jail for the safety of the modern society. However, the criminal rates have not decreased significantly over the last decade because released criminal from the prison conducted violent crime again. In this regard, some people claim that this trend created so many social problems such as the rise of criminal rates, the increase of taxation, and many others. As far as I am concerned, I will explore the causes of this issue and put forward some feasible solutions in this essay.
In solving this problem, first of all, it is very important to understand what causes its’ issue. There are several factors regarding this trend. Firstly, in the prison, there are no appropriate educational systems and no organising training courses, such as computer skills, cooking skills and so on, for the criminals to develop their skilled talent for their future career after the prison, which will help them keep abreast with the rapid social development. However, the government lack a fund essential to establish this training courses for criminal, which lead the criminal to be lag behind others after the prison and caused them to do another violent crime again. Secondly, almost criminals are suffering a great deal with poor financial conditions, which lead them to go astray again after the prison. As a result, there should have an affirmative action in anything for the sake of those criminal’s restoration for their good future.
There are some things that should be done to solve these problems. Firstly, the government and the authorities should offer an opportunity for those criminals to enrich their knowledge and widen horizons through various forms of training courses, such as computer skills, cooking skills and many others, in the prison, which not only guarantees their future careers but also optimises their living standards. Secondly, the government should subsidise those criminals financially until they find a new career, which will support their family and allow those criminals to concentrate on seeking for their job. Moreover, if the government and the whole society join hands in solving these problems, I believe that criminals who set free from the prison can easily get accustomed to the changed social circumstance and improve their social interaction with others; as a result, all of these efforts greatly contribute to the decrease of criminal rates caused by former prisoners.
Taking into account this aforementioned opinions, there are several things that could be done to prevent the increase of the criminal rates caused by the former prisoners. Furthermore, individuals also should do the utmost to develop the harmonious society with those previous criminals and give them more opportunities to take part in social activities, such as politics, religions, arts, and many others, which offer them abundant enjoyments in many aspects.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove unnecessary article Original: sent to the jail Suggested revision: sent to jail Why it matters: "Jail" is used without an article when referring generally to imprisonment.
- 2. Remove unnecessary article Original: the modern society Suggested revision: modern society Why it matters: "Society" is used without "the" when referring generally to society as a whole.
- 3. Use correct collocation Original: However, the criminal rates Suggested revision: However, crime rates Why it matters: "Crime rates" is the standard term for the measured frequency of crime.
- 4. Fix number and article Original: released criminal from the prison Suggested revision: criminals released from prison Why it matters: A general statement needs a plural noun, and "prison" takes no article in this usage.
- 5. Use correct crime collocation Original: conducted violent crime again Suggested revision: committed violent crimes again Why it matters: People "commit" crimes, and the general claim requires the plural noun.
- 6. Correct rate phrase Original: the rise of criminal rates Suggested revision: the rise in crime rates Why it matters: The standard construction is a "rise in" a measured quantity such as crime rates.
- 7. Correct demonstrative Original: causes its’ issue Suggested revision: causes this issue Why it matters: "This" is the required demonstrative; "its’" is not a valid possessive form.
- 8. Use participle adjective Original: organising Suggested revision: organised Why it matters: The past participle "organised" describes courses that have been arranged.
- 9. Use concise noun Original: develop their skilled talent Suggested revision: develop their skills Why it matters: "Skills" directly expresses the abilities developed through training without redundant wording.
- 10. Fix agreement and noun Original: the government lack a fund Suggested revision: the government lacks the funding Why it matters: The singular subject requires "lacks," and "funding" is the appropriate uncountable noun.
- 11. Fix demonstrative agreement Original: this Suggested revision: these Why it matters: The plural noun "courses" requires the plural demonstrative "these".
- 12. Use plural noun Original: criminal Suggested revision: criminals Why it matters: The statement concerns prisoners generally, so the countable noun must be plural.
Suggested Rewrites
- sent to the jail sent to jail
- the modern society modern society
- However, the criminal rates However, crime rates
- released criminal from the prison criminals released from prison
- conducted violent crime again committed violent crimes again
- the rise of criminal rates the rise in crime rates
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is strongest in proposing several relevant rehabilitation measures and explaining how training, financial support, and social inclusion could reduce reoffending. Its main limitation is that it substitutes a causes discussion for a clearly stated evaluation of the reported situation, while frequent language errors weaken precision; the highest-priority improvement is to state and develop a direct opinion before connecting it to focused, well-supported solutions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response develops relevant causes and solutions at length, but does not clearly formulate or support a direct opinion on the reported prevalence of reoffending.
State a clear evaluation of the research claim and develop why it is credible or significant before presenting solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a logical causes-to-solutions structure with clear paragraphing, although mechanical sequencing and overlong sentences sometimes blur relationships between ideas.
Use shorter topic-led sentences and clearer referencing so that each cause, consequence, and remedy is connected without excessive clause chaining.
Lexical Resource
There is an adequate range of vocabulary for crime, rehabilitation, employment, and social integration, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce precision.
Learn and apply natural combinations such as "crime rate," "vocational training," "find employment," and "social reintegration."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied complex structures, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, plurals, possessives, verb forms, and clause construction sometimes strain readability.
Focus first on building accurate main clauses, then add subordinate clauses only after checking subject-verb agreement and noun forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Report research suggests that majority of criminals who were sent to prison would commit crimes when they are set free. What do you think of this case? What to be done to solve this problem?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.