Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so the medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Good healthcareGood healthcare service is a fundamental need for every citizen in a country. But when this sector is run by money-making private organisations, they become too expensive for the poor and the middle class. This is whyThis is why, I agree with the notion that medical services should not be run by for-profit private organisationsorganizations.
First, when healthcare serviceshealth service is run and controlled by profitmoney-making private companies, the healthcare sector then turns into a profit-driven businessprofitable business sector. The main objective of those private organisationsThose private organisations’ main objective is to make money, and thus only wealthy citizens can afford to payonly rich citizens can pay for their treatment. Since the government does not have any control over the services provided by these hospitalstreatment facilities of these hospitals and healthcare centres, they set whatever fees they choosecharge people as much as they like. Thus they make the country's overall healthcare system expensiveoverall healthcare system expensive in a country.
Second, private healthcare centres are often accused of overcharging and wrong treatment, and yet they are not punished for the misdeed they conduct. Many people opine that private healthcare centres and hospitals are much cleanerfar neater and clean and have more qualified doctors. However, those doctors should be serving in public hospitals instead of earning money in private practicemaking money somewhere else. Thus the doctors' professional ethics are compromisedprofessional ethics of doctors are ruined by their practice in private hospitals. Furthermore, the government collects substantial tax revenuea huge amount of tax from its citizens and is obligedshould be obliged to provide health care services to people for free rather than letting private hospitals exploit patientsloot people.
In conclusion, the amount the private healthcare service providers charge for treatment is outrageous, and ordinarymass people cannot afford that. The government should ensure proper healthcare facilities for all of its citizens and quality public healthcare service is a better solution than allowing private companies to control this important sector whose sole objective is to make profits.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a consistent position and supports it with several relevant arguments about affordability, accountability, and public responsibility. Its main limitation is that some claims are sweeping or only briefly substantiated, while recurring awkward collocations and grammatical slips reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each argument with a specific, balanced explanation and then proofread for agreement, articles, and natural phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained throughout and supported by several relevant reasons, though some assertions are generalized rather than fully substantiated.
Develop the strongest arguments with concrete examples or clearer causal explanation instead of relying on broad claims about all private providers.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically through a clear introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a consistent conclusion, despite some repetitive linking.
Use a wider range of subtle transitions and clarify a few pronoun references to make connections less mechanical.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of topic-specific vocabulary, but awkward or imprecise combinations such as ‘wrong treatment’ and ‘mass people’ recur.
Replace unnatural collocations and overly emotive wording with precise academic alternatives, such as ‘inappropriate treatment’ and ‘many people’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument clearly, although agreement, article, punctuation, and comparative-form errors appear repeatedly.
Proofread complex sentences for subject-verb agreement, article use, and parallel adjective forms before finalizing the response.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so the medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.