The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Despite vast improvements in the position of women in society over the past half a century, we are still some way from achieving gender equality. Women who were around in the 1960s or 1970s70s would surely be struckare surely struck by the significant improvements in the lives of women in the twenty-first century. However, they must also find familiar evidence of major inequalities. Women in the West have made great headway in the fields of education and employment over the past 50 years. Women often outperform men academicallyout-achieve men educationally, and are entering professionsoccupations and professions that would once have been out of bounds. They often hold senior positionsattain high positions within organisations and in some countries have even risen to the top of political power. Successful female entrepreneurs often appear in the media, perhaps leading some to conclude that women are now competing on a level playing field. However, if we examine the situation more closelylook more carefully we soon see that significant problems still exist. Women facesuffer inequalities in employment and have yet to achieve equal pay for similar workpay that is equal to that of men doing similar work. In addition, women are generally still responsible for child rearing and housework, creating a 'double burden' for those who work full time. Moreover, despite the success of some women in gaining positions of influence, such women are the exceptionthese are the exception rather than the rule, and women are still outnumbered in positions of power. Finally, the dominant view of women in the media is not one of successful entrepreneur or public figure but of 's-x object', a situation that has barely changed over the past 50 years. Consequently, despite some very real gains. I feel that women of the previous century must see much that they recognise when observing the position of women in society today.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear, sustained position and supports it with a persuasive contrast between substantial progress and persistent inequality, using mature language and varied sentence structures. Its main limitation is presentation: the entire argument appears as one paragraph, and the conclusion contains a fragment that interrupts an otherwise fluent progression. Prioritise clear paragraph divisions and proofread sentence boundaries while retaining the strong analytical focus.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained throughout and supported with relevant, well-developed evidence about progress and continuing inequality.
Deepen the analysis with a more specific illustration of how one persistent inequality operates in contemporary society.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through contrastive stages, but the lack of paragraph divisions weakens the visible organisation of the argument.
Divide the response into an introduction, focused body paragraphs, and a conclusion so each stage of the reasoning is immediately clear.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide-ranging, precise, and suitably academic, with effective expressions for social change, employment, and inequality.
Refine the few awkward noun phrases and avoid altered or imprecise wording where a standard expression would be clearer.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is used accurately, though a conclusion fragment and a few article-level lapses interrupt control.
Proofread sentence boundaries and noun phrases carefully, especially in the conclusion, to eliminate isolated grammatical slips.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.