Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
Museums preserve and represent important local and global history, scientific inventions, traditions and many other important aspects of our civilisations. Many museums charge visitors for granting entry while some are free. I believe that charging visitors for entrance derives more benefits than drawbacks. This essay will justify this view by analysing both the advantages and disadvantages of this policy.
A huge demerit of imposing an entrance fee to a museum is that it reduces the number of visitors. If people do not go to museums and learn about important history, scientific inventions, cultural aspects and so on, the museums fail to serve their purposes. To illustrate, a botanical garden located in my city gets more visitors per day than a science museum located nearby. The reason perhaps the entry to the garden is free while the museum charges about $20 for each person.
On the flip side, one major advantage of charging an entry fee to a museum is that the money could be utilised to maintain and develop the museum. For instance, it can be used to cover utility bills, repair and renovate the structure, enrich the collection and pay salaries to employees. Maintaining a large museum costs a huge amount of money and the revenue earned from the visitors could support the cost. Not all museums are funded by the government and sometimes museum‘s fund is not enough to cover all the costs it requires. If visitors do not pay to visit such a museum, the authority would need to shut it down. Furthermore, due to applied tariffs, museums are not overcrowded which keeps the environment of the museums conducive for learners and curious people. A crowded park may still be useful, but a museum packed with people is not a very ideal place to visit and learn. Therefore, I believe that admission money to a museum is seems very utilitarian and useful.
To conclude, although admission fees deter some people from visiting a museum in some cases, considering how it covers the necessary expenses, and keeps the environment favourable for learning and enjoying, it seems to have more significant advantages than drawbacks.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use admission collocation Original: charge visitors for granting entry Suggested revision: charge visitors admission fees Why it matters: The replacement uses the standard collocation for payment to enter a museum.
- 2. Use concise wording Original: charging visitors for entrance Suggested revision: charging admission fees Why it matters: 'Charging admission fees' is the natural expression for this policy.
- 3. Correct the collocation Original: derives Suggested revision: brings Why it matters: A policy brings or provides benefits rather than deriving them.
- 4. Use academic wording Original: A huge demerit Suggested revision: A major disadvantage Why it matters: 'Major disadvantage' is a more natural academic collocation here.
- 5. Fix fee construction Original: imposing an entrance fee to a museum Suggested revision: charging a museum entrance fee Why it matters: The replacement avoids the incorrect preposition after 'fee'.
- 6. Use a formal transition Original: On the flip side Suggested revision: On the other hand Why it matters: This transition marks the contrast in a more suitable academic register.
- 7. Use concise phrasing Original: the revenue earned from the visitors Suggested revision: visitor revenue Why it matters: The concise noun phrase conveys the same meaning without unnecessary wording.
- 8. Correct the collocation Original: support the cost Suggested revision: cover these costs Why it matters: Revenue covers costs rather than supporting a cost.
- 9. Fix possession and noun Original: museum‘s fund Suggested revision: a museum's funding Why it matters: The phrase needs an article, a standard possessive apostrophe, and the uncountable noun 'funding'.
- 10. Clarify possession Original: all the costs it requires Suggested revision: all its costs Why it matters: The museum has costs; it does not require the costs themselves.
- 11. Clarify the subject Original: the authority would need to shut it down Suggested revision: it might have to close Why it matters: The replacement removes the unclear reference to an unspecified authority.
- 12. Name the fee accurately Original: due to applied tariffs Suggested revision: because of admission fees Why it matters: 'Tariffs' normally refers to taxes or fixed rates, not museum entrance charges in this context.
Suggested Rewrites
- charge visitors for granting entry charge visitors admission fees
- charging visitors for entrance charging admission fees
- derives brings
- A huge demerit A major disadvantage
- imposing an entrance fee to a museum charging a museum entrance fee
- On the flip side On the other hand
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay gives a direct and convincing outweigh judgement, developing reduced access as the main drawback and showing how fees fund maintenance, collections, staffing, and a better learning environment. Its strongest features are relevant examples and logical progression; the main limitation is occasional awkward grammar and imprecise terminology such as tariffs. Prioritise precise museum-related vocabulary and a careful edit of agreement, possessives, and clause structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses the comparison and supports its clear judgement with well-developed advantages, a relevant disadvantage, and concrete examples.
Briefly consider affordability measures such as concessions or free days to strengthen the weighing without changing the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically through a focused drawback, multiple linked benefits, and a concise conclusion, with effective paragraphing.
Tighten repeated statements about museum costs so each sentence advances a distinct part of the justification.
Lexical Resource
A broad and generally precise vocabulary covers funding, maintenance, access, and learning conditions, with occasional inaccurate choices.
Replace demerit, applied tariffs, admission money, and museum authority with drawback, admission fees, revenue, and museum management.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is used, but recurring agreement, possessive, article, and complement errors prevent consistently strong accuracy.
Correct patterns such as the reason is that, a museum's funds, the authorities may need to close it, and admission fees seem useful.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.