Many parents use punishment to teach the difference between right and wrong to kids. Many people think that the punishment is necessary to help children learn the distinction. To what extent do you agree to punish a kid to teach him/ her something important? What kind of punishment do you think parents and teachers can use?
Sample Response
Parenting is a very difficult challenge all around the world. Most parentsMost of the parents consider punishment a better teaching method than listeninginstead of listening and communicating with the children. However, to my mind, anything in excess is harmfulanything excess is bad. It is undeniableIt I not deniable that punishmentthat the punishment is one of the easiest ways to teach children right from wronggood or bad , but it shouldbut it should not be the only way of teaching.
To start with, children are very sensitive and wantchildren are very sensitive, want love and care. They need their parents’ support and encouragement in every aspect of their liveslife. So, it is considered by most psychologistsmost of the psychologists that by giving harsh punishments too often, parentstoo often parents make their children proneare making their children prone to violence. Hence, it is now proven by social researchers that children learn less from punishments, becomes shy and insecure and it may affect their social behaviour.
However, it is undeniabledeniable that children are naturally adventurousadvantageous and curious about everything. Some are stubborn and need to be dealt with differentlyneed to deal differently. For such children, parents and teachers should adopt a strict but non-violent approachstrict but no-torture behaviour. It could include numerous methods such as scolding, taking away their favourite possessiontaking their favourite belonging for a couple of days or limiting their leisure time. In addition, cancelling their pocket money for a month or cancellingcancel a weekend outing plan could be a better option thana better option rather than locking them alone in a dark room.
In conclusion, I surely believe that minor punishments could teach children the difference between right and wrong; however,, however, the consequences could be different for every individual child. I suggest that there should be a proper and balanced communication among parents, teachers and childrencommunication of parents and teachers with the children.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear qualified position that minor, non-violent consequences can be useful while harsh punishment damages children, and it supplies several practical examples for parents and teachers. Its main limitation is frequent lexical and grammatical inaccuracy, including contradictory word choices that occasionally obscure the intended claim. The highest priority is to express the distinction between proportionate consequences and abuse in simpler, accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both the extent question and suitable forms of punishment are addressed with a consistent qualified view and relevant examples.
Explain how each mild consequence teaches responsibility and distinguish it explicitly from fear-based or physically harmful punishment.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically from the risks of harsh punishment to acceptable alternatives and a balanced conclusion, with clear paragraphing.
Use more precise contrast links so the paragraph supporting limited consequences does not appear to contradict the earlier position.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient for discipline and child development, but recurring inaccurate words and collocations reduce precision.
Use excessive punishment, undeniable, adventurous or inquisitive, non-violent discipline, confiscate a favourite possession, and constructive communication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence types is attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and clause construction weaken control.
Prioritise complete clauses and agreement, especially it is undeniable, children become, some need to be treated differently, and cancelling an outing could help.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many parents use punishment to teach the difference between right and wrong to kids. Many people think that the punishment is necessary to help children learn the distinction. To what extent do you agree to punish a kid to teach him/ her something important? What kind of punishment do you think parents and teachers can use?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.