Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A zoo has no useful purpose. Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.
Sample Response
Whether a zoo has useful purposes or not and should we put the animals in a zoological garden or not is an issue that has been much debated. People are divided in their opinions and when one group says that, zoos should not exist; other group presents the usefulness of it. In my opinion, a zoo has many useful purposes. People, who are against the establishment of zoos, always show the logic that we should not keep the free animals in cases and that’s completely a mockery of our true humanity. They have their logics and to a degree this is logical but when they question humanity for this act, they are wrong from many perspectives. A zoological garden does not keep all the animals in cages and many recent zoos ensure the natural environment for the animals they keep in their places. In most of the countries, a zoological garden is monitored strictly and the health, treatment and food of animals are ensured. The authority makes sure that the animals are properly taken care of and do not die in diseases. A zoo keeps only a few animals and this is not a threat to the natural inhabitants of animals. When we talk about humanity about the ruthless act of keeping the animals in a zoo, where is our humanity when we are killing thousands of animals and birds and selling them in well-decorated shops? The zoo sometimes saves the endangered species and becomes a safe house for many animals. People do not visit the zoo to boast their superiority; rather they go there for recreational and educational purposes. A child who visits a zoo can learn many things which otherwise would not have been possible. In conclusion, zoo indeed has many useful purposes and it is a great educational and recreational place for many people.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove defining commas Original: People, who are against the establishment of zoos, Suggested revision: People who oppose zoos Why it matters: A defining relative clause is not separated from its noun by commas.
- 2. Use natural reporting Original: show the logic Suggested revision: argue Why it matters: Argue is the natural verb for presenting this position.
- 3. Use the precise term Original: free Suggested revision: wild Why it matters: Wild animals is the standard term for animals living outside captivity.
- 4. Correct the word Original: cases Suggested revision: cages Why it matters: Cages is the intended word for zoo enclosures.
- 5. Clarify the reference Original: and that’s completely a mockery Suggested revision: and that doing so is a complete mockery Why it matters: The gerund phrase clearly refers back to the act of keeping animals confined.
- 6. Use a countable noun Original: logics Suggested revision: reasons Why it matters: Logic is not normally pluralized to mean individual reasons or arguments.
- 7. Punctuate the opener Original: to a degree this is logical Suggested revision: to a degree, this reasoning is logical Why it matters: The introductory phrase needs a comma, and reasoning supplies a clear referent.
- 8. Correct the collocation Original: question humanity for this act Suggested revision: question the humanity of this act Why it matters: The humanity of is the appropriate construction for judging whether an act is humane.
- 9. Use natural phrasing Original: ensure the natural environment Suggested revision: provide a natural environment Why it matters: Zoos can provide an environment, whereas ensure does not combine naturally with this noun phrase.
- 10. Use concise phrasing Original: for the animals they keep in their places Suggested revision: for the animals in their care Why it matters: In their care expresses the same relationship more naturally and concisely.
- 11. Remove the article Original: In most of the countries Suggested revision: In most countries Why it matters: A general reference after most does not take the definite article.
- 12. Improve adverb position Original: monitored strictly Suggested revision: strictly monitored Why it matters: Placing the adverb before the participle is more natural in this passive construction.
Suggested Rewrites
- People, who are against the establishment of zoos, People who oppose zoos
- show the logic argue
- free wild
- cases cages
- and that’s completely a mockery and that doing so is a complete mockery
- logics reasons
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear position and offers several relevant reasons, especially conservation and education. Its effectiveness is reduced by one-paragraph organisation, repetitive or loosely connected claims, and recurring awkward grammar and collocation; the highest-priority improvement is to divide the argument into focused body paragraphs and develop fewer reasons with precise explanations and concrete examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported by several relevant reasons, although some claims remain general or only briefly explained.
Develop two or three central reasons in greater depth with specific, credible examples instead of adding many short assertions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument is broadly understandable and follows a sensible direction, but the single paragraph and repetitive sequencing weaken progression.
Separate the introduction, distinct supporting ideas, and conclusion into focused paragraphs with clearer links between claims.
Lexical Resource
The response shows adequate topic vocabulary, but recurring inaccurate collocations reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace awkward combinations such as 'show the logic,' 'die in diseases,' and 'natural inhabitants' with idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex forms are attempted, while recurring errors in articles, clause structure, agreement, and punctuation remain noticeable.
Proofread each complex sentence for article use, clause order, and sentence boundaries before adding further grammatical range.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A zoo has no useful purpose. Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.