Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A zoo has no useful purpose. Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.
Sample Response
Some people believe that zoo has no useful purpose while others argue that zoo is used for recreational purposes. This is an issue which is greatly debated and controversial but I strongly believe that a zoo interrupts our ecological system. There are several reasons for my standing on the side why the zoo is worthless.
Firstly, animals always look beautiful in the forest which is their natural inhabitant. Whenever we put animals in cages from the forest, we interrupt the natural law. Thus forests lose their beautiful natural environment. It is also inhuman to put the free animals in cages. Because day-by-day animals which are used for human entertainment purposes get deteriorated in their physical growth as well as get interrupted their normal proliferation. Thus many animals have become extinct. Besides, without the interruption an animal wondering in a natural forest keeps our natural environment safe.
Secondly, sometimes many animals cannot cope with the cages. Moreover, many zoo authorities don’t provide necessary foods and proper accommodation and right treatment which are required for the survival and production of the animals. Furthermore, zoo authorities earn a lot of money to display these wild animals among the general peoples but this money is not properly utilised among this wild animals. As a result, these animals suffer from various kinds of diseases and scarcity of foods.
Thirdly, another important point is that Zoo is destroying our food chain system. It is actually destroying the food ecosystem nature preserves. At least not at least, Kids who captive animals for their fun and entertainment, get a bad impression and this is not good for their mental growth. Safari park, which is an alternative system of a zoo, where animals get large places and greener trees and foods at the same time, can be a better alternative than a zoo. General people can learn about the animals from these short of natural parks and this way we can cause less harm to the wild animals and to the mother nature.
In conclusion, we can say that zoo is inhuman and serves almost nothing for us while it destroys the natural equilibrium.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add the article Original: believe that zoo Suggested revision: believe that a zoo Why it matters: Zoo is a singular countable noun and needs an article.
- 2. Add the article Original: argue that zoo Suggested revision: argue that a zoo Why it matters: The singular noun zoo requires a before it.
- 3. Use precise ecological wording Original: interrupts our ecological system Suggested revision: disrupts natural ecosystems Why it matters: Disrupts ecosystems expresses the claimed environmental effect naturally.
- 4. State the view clearly Original: my standing on the side why Suggested revision: my view that Why it matters: The original phrase does not form a grammatical complement.
- 5. Use habitat Original: inhabitant Suggested revision: habitat Why it matters: A habitat is a place where an animal lives, whereas an inhabitant is a living resident.
- 6. Name the interference Original: without the interruption Suggested revision: without human interference Why it matters: The revision makes the source of disruption explicit.
- 7. Correct the verb Original: wondering Suggested revision: wandering Why it matters: Wandering means moving freely, while wondering means thinking.
- 8. Use the broader condition Original: cope with the cages Suggested revision: cope with captivity Why it matters: Captivity describes the condition rather than only the physical cages.
- 9. Use uncountable food Original: necessary foods Suggested revision: sufficient food Why it matters: Food is uncountable when referring generally to provisions.
- 10. Use formal care wording Original: right Suggested revision: appropriate Why it matters: Appropriate treatment is the natural formal collocation.
- 11. Use the biological term Original: production Suggested revision: reproduction Why it matters: Reproduction, not production, describes animals breeding.
- 12. Use the collective noun Original: peoples Suggested revision: public Why it matters: People has no plural form peoples in this general sense.
Suggested Rewrites
- believe that zoo believe that a zoo
- argue that zoo argue that a zoo
- interrupts our ecological system disrupts natural ecosystems
- my standing on the side why my view that
- inhabitant habitat
- without the interruption without human interference
Why this response received Band 5.5
The essay states a clear opposition to zoos and offers several relevant themes, including animal welfare, poor care, ecological disruption, and safari parks as an alternative. Its main limitation is that many claims are asserted through inaccurate or unclear reasoning, so examples do not convincingly show that zoos have no useful purpose. The priority is to develop two strong arguments with realistic causal explanations and specific evidence instead of listing loosely supported harms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and several relevant reasons are presented, but their development is uneven and major claims about extinction and ecosystems are insufficiently supported.
Select two defensible reasons, explain each causal link fully, and add a specific realistic example that demonstrates why zoo harms outweigh any purpose.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, three reason paragraphs, alternative, and conclusion create recognizable progression, although mechanical sequencing and unclear links weaken coherence.
Organize the body around two central arguments and use topic sentences that connect every supporting point directly to the claim that zoos lack value.
Lexical Resource
Some topic-specific vocabulary is attempted, but frequent inaccurate word choices and collocations often reduce precision and sometimes obscure meaning.
Use accurate forms such as “natural habitat,” “animal welfare,” “breeding,” “the general public,” and “these kinds of wildlife parks.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in articles, agreement, sentence formation, pronouns, and word forms occur throughout, with some sentences difficult to follow.
Build shorter complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, then check articles and singular-plural agreement in every sentence.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A zoo has no useful purpose. Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.