There are various reasons for attending colleges and universities and getting a job is definitely one of them. However, many other reasons drive us to enrol in a college or university. Why do you think people attend colleges or universities?
Sample Response
Formal education is a well-established method of learning and has been developed to highly mature form with the development of human civilisation. People attend colleges and universities not only to gain a degree or certificate but to attain various other goals. This essay will elaborate few of these reasons in below paragraphs. Firstly, learning and opportunity for employment are two most popular reasons why anyone goes to university. Deep knowledge on a subject makes a student more employable and suitable for the job. On top of this, colleges also provide venues for placements in their campus itself. For example, 90% of engineering students in India find their job in the recruitment events organised by companies in the college campus during the final semester of the students. Hence, students get doubly benefited by attending universities. Secondly, some people have an interest in research on topics relating to various aspects effecting human. So they opt for higher education in universities which are well placed with access to government funds allocated to research and inventions. Institutions like ‘Indian Institute of Science’ enroll hundreds of students in the doctorate programs each year and receive thousands of applications for the same. This shows that there is a great deal of interest in research among students these days. Other most vital reason for people attending universities is that one gets to meet with people of similar interests and a place where he gets newer ideas. There are many examples of entrepreneurs founding big organisations with partners they met in universities and based on innovation ideas which were seeded during their college days. As we see from above, every student has a unique reason to attend university or college. But the most popular reason why anyone joins college is to gain knowledge
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix article and preposition Original: to highly mature form Suggested revision: into a highly mature form Why it matters: The phrase needs the preposition "into" and an article before the singular count noun.
- 2. Add preposition and article Original: elaborate few of these reasons Suggested revision: elaborate on a few of these reasons Why it matters: The verb takes "on" here, and "few" needs an article to mean several.
- 3. Correct word order Original: in below paragraphs Suggested revision: in the paragraphs below Why it matters: English places "below" after the noun phrase in this expression.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: opportunity for employment Suggested revision: employment opportunities Why it matters: The plural collocation expresses the general reason more naturally.
- 5. Add definite article Original: two most popular reasons Suggested revision: the two most popular reasons Why it matters: A superlative expression normally requires the definite article.
- 6. Correct preposition Original: on Suggested revision: of Why it matters: The standard collocation is "knowledge of" a subject.
- 7. Clarify placement provision Original: provide venues for placements in their campus itself Suggested revision: provide on-campus recruitment opportunities Why it matters: This wording expresses the intended employment service clearly and idiomatically.
- 8. Use plural noun Original: find their job Suggested revision: find jobs Why it matters: The generic plural subject requires the plural noun "jobs" here.
- 9. Correct event preposition Original: in the recruitment events Suggested revision: at recruitment events Why it matters: English uses "at" when referring to participation in events.
- 10. Correct campus preposition Original: in Suggested revision: on Why it matters: The conventional preposition for a campus location is "on".
- 11. Use possessive form Original: final semester of the students Suggested revision: students' final semester Why it matters: The possessive form gives the relationship more directly and correctly.
- 12. Fix unnatural expression Original: get doubly benefited Suggested revision: benefit in two ways Why it matters: The passive construction is not idiomatic for describing two benefits.
Suggested Rewrites
- to highly mature form into a highly mature form
- elaborate few of these reasons elaborate on a few of these reasons
- in below paragraphs in the paragraphs below
- opportunity for employment employment opportunities
- two most popular reasons the two most popular reasons
- on of
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents several relevant, clearly identifiable reasons for university attendance and supports them with concrete examples, especially employment and research. Its main limitation is uneven language control: frequent article, preposition, and collocation errors make otherwise logical ideas sound awkward, while the single-block presentation weakens paragraph-level progression. Prioritise more accurate sentence construction and organise each reason into a distinct, fully developed paragraph.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response addresses the question directly with several relevant reasons that are generally explained and exemplified.
Develop the networking reason more fully and make the conclusion synthesise all the main motivations rather than only knowledge.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasons follow a broadly logical sequence, but mechanical transitions and the lack of visible paragraph breaks weaken organisation.
Use a separate paragraph for each main reason and connect supporting sentences through meaning rather than relying mainly on ordinal linkers.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range for education, employment, and research, but recurring inaccurate collocations reduce precision.
Replace awkward combinations such as knowledge on a subject and research and inventions with natural academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the ideas clearly, although article, agreement, and preposition errors recur.
Edit systematically for articles and noun phrases, especially forms such as a highly mature form, the two most popular reasons, and on campus.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
There are various reasons for attending colleges and universities and getting a job is definitely one of them. However, many other reasons drive us to enrol in a college or university. Why do you think people attend colleges or universities?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.