Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?
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Sample Response
Many offendersSeveral criminals are likely to commit other offences after serving their initial term, owing to their inability to achieve financial stabilityincapacity to maintain economic stability and difficulty finding suitable employment. However, there are several options for addressing this problemdealing with this scenario, such as providing financial assistance and teaching them the necessary skillsinstilling the necessary skills. This essay will look at why criminals commit crimes repeatedlythe same crimes over and over again and how to prevent reoffendingavoid them.
To begin with, most first-time convicts commit crimes after serving their first sentence due to athe lack of employment options and opportunities to retrain or acquire new skillsopportunities to retrain and master new skills to make a living. Moreover, since society does not accept former convicts as respectable peoplethe convicts as respectable people anymore, they associate with criminal peersjoin hands with their criminal friends and commitperpetuate the same crimes, such as pickpocketing or robbing, to make ends meet and obtainavail basic necessities. As a result, the financial hardships of the perpetrators prompt them to reoffendprompt them to recommit the crimes regardless of the repercussions.
There are some viable measures to rehabilitaterehabiliate habitual criminals. The government can provide financial assistance to them after they complete their sentence as this will help them stabilize their economic status and make a living for themselves. The government can also ensure that criminals have the opportunity to acquireretrain vital skills while in prison, as this will help them find stable work after their sentence is over and will improve their reintegration into society and financial stabilitydevelopment.
To sum up, the convicts recommit the crimes owing to a lack of financial help, job opportunities, and rehabilitation. Still, crime rates would drop considerably if the government implemented the above-mentioned measures and kept a close eye on first-time offenders after their releaseonce set free.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response answers both parts directly and presents a logical chain from unemployment and social rejection to practical rehabilitation measures. Its main limitation is that the supporting ideas remain fairly general and several awkward collocations reduce precision, even though meaning stays clear. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each cause and solution with a more specific mechanism or example while choosing more natural word combinations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both causes and measures are addressed clearly, with relevant ideas that are developed sufficiently but remain somewhat general.
Extend each main idea with a specific example or a clearer explanation of how the cause or measure operates.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through causes, solutions, and a concise conclusion, with clear paragraphing and generally effective linking.
Use a slightly wider range of less explicit transitions so relationships between ideas feel more natural.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and often appropriately formal, although several spelling and collocation errors reduce precision.
Replace awkward combinations such as language about committing crimes, obtaining necessities, and retraining skills with more natural collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is used with strong overall control and only occasional non-impeding errors.
Refine punctuation and clause boundaries in longer sentences to make otherwise accurate structures consistently polished.