Some people think schools should stop teaching students by using books because students find them boring, and children can learn from films, TV, video games, and computers instead. To what extent do you agree?
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Sample Response
There is an ongoing debate over which source schools should useschool should use which source to teach students. Some people think that teachers should use books to teach students, while other people think children can learn from films or computers. From my perspective, I largely agree with the view that children can learn from computers instead, as studying online has many benefits forto children.
Suppoters with the view that children should learn with books. Admittedly, it is true that when children study online, they might be disturbed by the games or ads on computersads in the computers. Thus, they might not focus on studying. Instead, if children can just use books to study, they can concentrate on their studiesstudy better. Thus, many people might support that children still need to study with books.study with the books.
Nevertheless, although studying with books can help children concentrate on learning, studying online can provide more benefits forwith children. In other words, studying online can give children more vivid sources to learn. For example, if childrenchileden study poetrystudy the poems with books, they will just see the words in the books. However, if they study online, they can study with a video, which is more engaging and easier for them to understand.more attractive and effective for them to understand. Studying with books may helpStudying with books might can help students to focus on themit, but it is boring, which can cause students to lose interestlet the students loss their interests in studying. If they could study with computers,not only will they be attractednot only they will be attracted by the vivid sources, but they can also be encouragedbut also it can encourage children to continue to learn. Thus, I think that studying with computers is much better for children.
In conclusion, I largely agree with the view that schools should stop teaching students by using books. Studying with computers can provide children with more vivid sources to learn than the words in books.words on the books. With vivid sources, these tools can continue to boostit can continue to improve children's interest in learning.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a clear position and directly addresses the prompt using relevant arguments and examples regarding digital learning. However, the essay's effectiveness is constrained by frequent grammatical errors and repetitive phrasing throughout the body paragraphs. To raise the score, focus on eliminating basic structural errors such as sentence fragments and modal verbs combined incorrectly, while broadening academic vocabulary.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
You take a clear stance agreeing with the prompt and support your main points with concrete examples.
Develop your supporting arguments further by exploring the potential drawbacks of entirely replacing books to show a deeper evaluation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall response is organized into clear paragraphs with a logical flow of ideas from intro to conclusion.
Ensure all main ideas begin with complete topic sentences rather than incomplete sentence fragments.
Lexical Resource
You use a sufficient range of topic-related vocabulary to convey your ideas clearly.
Work on word forms and collocation accuracy to avoid minor vocabulary errors and repetition.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but grammatical inaccuracies occur frequently across the text.
Review complex grammatical rules, specifically double modal verbs and word order in inverted structures.