Some people think schools should stop teaching students by using books because students find them boring, and children can learn from films, TV, video games, and computers instead. To what extent do you agree?
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Sample Response
There is an ongoing debate over which resources schools should useschool should use which source to teach students. Some people think that teachers should use books to teach students, while other people think children can learn from films or computers. From my perspective, I largely agree with the view that children can learn from computers instead, as studying online has many benefits forto children.
Suppoters with the view that children should learn with books. Admittedly, it is true that when children study online, they might be disturbed by the games or ads on computersads in the computers. Thus, they might not focus on studying. Instead, if children can just use books to study, they can concentrate better on their studiesconcentrate on their study better. Thus, many people might argue that children still need to study with bookssupport that children still need to study with the books.
Nevertheless, although studying with books can help children concentrate on learning, studying online can provide more benefits forwith children. In other words, studying online can give children more vivid sources to learn. For example, if childrenchileden study poetry using booksstudy the poems with books, they will just see the words in the books. However, if they study online, they can study with a video, which is more attractive and effective for them to understand. Studying with books might helpmight can help students to focus on their studiesfocus on it, but it is boring, which can cause students to lose interestlet the students loss their interests in studying. If they study using computersIf they could study with computers,not only will they benot only they will be attracted by the vivid sources, but also it can encourage children to continue to learn. Thus, I think that studying with computers is much better for children.
In conclusion, I largely agree with the view that schools should stop teaching students by using books. Studying with computers can provide children with more vivid sources to learn than the words in bookswords on the books. With vivid sources, it can continue to stimulate children's interestimprove children's interest in learning.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay presents a clear opinion on replacing printed textbooks with digital resources and develops a structured argument with relevant supporting ideas. However, frequent grammatical errors and a tendency to repeat key vocabulary limit the clarity and academic polish of the writing. To achieve a higher score, focus on eliminating basic structural mistakes and varying your vocabulary to express ideas more precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
You address all parts of the prompt and maintain a consistent position throughout the response.
Develop your arguments further by providing more specific real-world examples beyond general statements about video engagement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical overall structure with clear paragraphing and basic transition signals.
Fix incomplete sentence structures at the start of paragraphs to ensure smoother cohesion between main ideas.
Lexical Resource
You use an adequate range of words to convey your points, though some phrasing and prepositions are repetitive or inaccurate.
Vary your vocabulary by using synonyms for frequent expressions like 'vivid sources' and 'study online'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence structures is attempted, but frequent grammatical errors, such as double modal verbs and sentence fragments, are present.
Review complex grammatical structures, focusing on modal verb combinations and inverted word order after negative adverbials.