Is it wise for an industry to replace its experienced but old workers with new and young individuals who have less experience? Give your views in not less than 250 words.
Sample Response
It is true that a recent trend of replacing experienced older workersthe experienced old workers with younger workersyoung talents has emerged across industriescropped up in every industry. In my opinion, not all older workersnot all the old workers should be replaced by young individuals.
Experienced employees inof every industry should be considered valuable assetsconsidered as valuable assets. This is because their experience in the company would be definitely proportional to their loyalty and gratitude towards the employers which is an added advantage. Such emotionallyEmotionally bonded employees would work diligentlysincerely for the successdevelopment of the company. MoreoverThis is not all; their accumulatedtotal experience could never be replaced by anything which implies that they would have sound practical knowledge. Therefore it is always better for the businesses to retain their older employees rather than replacing them with recent graduatesin spite of recruiting freshers.
On the other hand, fresh graduates are essentialthe need of the hour to keep the industry competitiveto make the industry sustain in the prevailing high competition. The world has become revolutionised with the advancements in technology and thus a people with cutting edge technical skills are needed in every industry for its economic growth.
HoweverContrarily, it is not a wise decision to fire the old and experienced employees considering age as the only factor. Their experience should be valued, although they might not be aware of updated technologies. There would be problems that inexperienced employees find difficultproblems wherein freshers could find difficulty. In this case, they certainly need guidance. Why can’t every industry use its senior employees as mentorstheir senior employees as a mentor to train fresh trainees?
It should also be taken into consideration that an industry should be ruthless at times, in my opinion, to make its progress consistent. So if work like marketing and sales involves an older employeean old aged employee who is really getting weak, then the wisest decision would be to replace him or her with a young and energetic person. It is not that the older one should be fired but can be used as a resource person for the industry.
To conclude, both old and young employees are the prerequisites for a healthy work- environment. There should be a mutual sharing of knowledge and skills for the upliftment of the industry. But, few people whose age is an issue for their work could be replaced with young individuals and not all.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response offers a clear, nuanced view that values experienced staff while recognizing situations in which younger workers may be preferable, and its mentoring proposal gives the discussion practical direction. The main weakness is uneven language control, with frequent awkward collocations and grammatical inaccuracies. The highest-priority improvement is to express the well-chosen ideas in more natural, concise sentences and support questionable generalizations with firmer reasoning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is fully addressed through a consistent qualified position and relevant consideration of experience, technology, mentoring, and physical demands.
Strengthen the discussion by replacing unsupported assumptions, such as experience automatically producing loyalty, with clearer evidence or explanation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are organized into a logical progression and the conclusion matches the position, though some paragraph transitions feel formulaic or slightly repetitive.
Combine closely related points and use transitions that show the precise relationship between them rather than repeatedly switching sides.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of employment-related vocabulary, but recurrent awkward choices such as ‘make the industry sustain’ and ‘old aged employee’ weaken precision.
Prioritize natural academic collocations, for example ‘remain competitive’, ‘older employee’, and ‘professional development’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay attempts varied complex structures, but errors with articles, agreement, sentence construction, capitalization, and punctuation occur regularly without obscuring meaning.
Edit each complex sentence for a clear subject-verb structure and check articles, plural forms, and punctuation systematically.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Is it wise for an industry to replace its experienced but old workers with new and young individuals who have less experience? Give your views in not less than 250 words.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.