The environmental problems that today's world is facing are so great that there is little ordinary people can do to improve the situation. So governments and large organizations should be responsible for reducing the amount of damage being done to the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Nowadays, environmental issues have become bigger and more crucial than at any time in the past. Some believe that authorities, large firms and manufacturers can play a fundamental role in reversing the detrimental damages done to the environment while ordinary people have little to contribute. From my perspective, although the government and large companies must take immediate actions to save the earth, people have an important role to play. The earth is confronting devastating threats, and it is imperative to take some radical moves by the authorities immediately. For example, authorities should dedicate a large amount of budget to improve the public transport infrastructures and enact strict regulations and laws regarding usage or ownership of private vehicles. They generate a considerable volume of greenhouse gases, which are considered the main culprit behind global warming. Moreover, it should be compulsory for companies to be based on renewable resources of energy for their productions. Also, they should limit their productions to the proportion of demand because mass production not only threatens the natural resources but is also primarily responsible for endless rubbish and harmful pollutants that overwhelmingly harm nature. In addition to the actions required by the government and organisations, people need to be active in saving the mother planet. Little choices they make can have a big impact. To cite an instance, the way we dispose of our household waste can make a difference. If we separate the biodegradable and non-biodegradable garbage from the origin, from homes, it will effectively reduce the recycling strain, which is profoundly time, money, and energy-consuming. Furthermore, the more they become aware of the environment and understand how crucial it is to protect it, the more sustainable and healthier the world becomes. In conclusion, governments and large companies must initiate immediate and radical actions for the sake of the earth's survival, and people still can play a significant role in diverse aspects of the earth's well-being.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise adjectives Original: bigger and more crucial Suggested revision: more serious and urgent Why it matters: The revision uses more natural academic adjectives for environmental problems.
- 2. Fix damage expression Original: reversing the detrimental damages done Suggested revision: reversing the environmental damage Why it matters: 'Damage' is normally uncountable here, and 'detrimental damage' is redundant.
- 3. Use uncountable action Original: actions Suggested revision: action Why it matters: 'Action' is uncountable when it means measures taken to address a problem generally.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: The earth is confronting devastating threats Suggested revision: The Earth is facing devastating threats Why it matters: A place or entity faces threats; 'confronting threats' incorrectly suggests that Earth is acting deliberately.
- 5. Use policy collocation Original: take some radical moves Suggested revision: take decisive action Why it matters: 'Take decisive action' is the natural expression for urgent government measures.
- 6. Use budget collocation Original: dedicate a large amount of budget Suggested revision: allocate a large budget Why it matters: Governments allocate budgets rather than dedicate amounts of budget.
- 7. Use uncountable noun Original: infrastructures Suggested revision: infrastructure Why it matters: 'Infrastructure' is normally uncountable when describing a transport system generally.
- 8. Clarify regulation target Original: regarding usage or ownership Suggested revision: governing the use or ownership Why it matters: The revision states more directly what the regulations control.
- 9. Clarify pronoun reference Original: They generate Suggested revision: Private vehicles generate Why it matters: Naming private vehicles prevents 'they' from appearing to refer to the authorities in the preceding sentence.
- 10. Use precise causal term Original: the main culprit Suggested revision: a major cause Why it matters: 'Cause' is more precise than the personifying noun 'culprit' for greenhouse gases.
- 11. Simplify energy phrase Original: be based on renewable resources of energy Suggested revision: use renewable energy Why it matters: The revision expresses the intended requirement directly and idiomatically.
- 12. Use correct construction Original: for their productions Suggested revision: in production Why it matters: 'Production' is uncountable for a company's manufacturing activity, and the appropriate preposition is 'in'.
Suggested Rewrites
- bigger and more crucial more serious and urgent
- reversing the detrimental damages done reversing the environmental damage
- actions action
- The earth is confronting devastating threats The Earth is facing devastating threats
- take some radical moves take decisive action
- dedicate a large amount of budget allocate a large budget
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear, nuanced position and develops relevant responsibilities for governments, companies, and individuals with concrete examples. Its main limitation is presentation as one uninterrupted paragraph, compounded by several awkward lexical combinations that reduce polish despite clear progression. The highest-priority improvement is to divide the argument into purposeful paragraphs and refine collocations so the strong content is communicated with greater precision and ease.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear throughout, and both institutional action and meaningful individual contributions are relevantly explained and supported.
Develop the individual-responsibility section as fully as the institutional section to create a more evenly substantiated argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a logical sequence and linking is generally effective, but the entire essay is presented as a single paragraph.
Separate the introduction, institutional measures, individual actions, and conclusion into distinct paragraphs with clear topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a broad environmental vocabulary, though a number of awkward collocations and imprecise word forms limit naturalness.
Revise combinations such as detrimental damages, transport infrastructures, and their productions into concise, idiomatic academic English.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentence forms are varied and usually controlled, with occasional agreement, reference, and noun-form errors that rarely obstruct meaning.
Check plural forms, pronoun reference, and subject-verb agreement in long sentences to improve consistency.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The environmental problems that today's world is facing are so great that there is little ordinary people can do to improve the situation. So governments and large organizations should be responsible for reducing the amount of damage being done to the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.