The environmental problems that today's world is facing are so great that there is little ordinary people can do to improve the situation. So governments and large organizations should be responsible for reducing the amount of damage being done to the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Every country in the world is suffering from some sort of environmental crisis, which is exacerbating each year. In my view, individual effort is less significant in reducing such damages; hence, the government, international organisations and big corporations should come forward to tackle this ever-increasing global warming and environmental issues. Environmental damage is an intricate issue that primarily results from careless industrialisation. Most factories release chemicals into the environment without any treatment and emit CO2. So, they are liable for such devastating environmental degradation, and they should pay all the money to reinstate the environment. To give an example, according to the World Economic Forum, industrial wastes are the key reason for the contemporary ecological collapse, and it comprises 70% of the world’s pollutions. Since industries are primarily responsible for global warming, they should be made liable to invest to reverse it. Moreover, pollution is wreaking havoc in all countries. As countries are inextricably connected, they can not deny their duties to resolve the issue. When the iceberg in Antarctica melts, it increases the risks of floods in the lower sea-level countries like Bangladesh, Sri Lanka and the Maldives. Interestingly, 80% of global warming is happening due to excessive fuel usages in developed countries. So rich countries should reduce their fuel consumption to limit the global temperature rise so that other countries become free from any environment-related jeopardies. Governments, international organisations and large corporations have the means and capacity to tackle it internationally, and ordinary people can do little to enact international laws or take effective initiatives to reverse the damage done. In conclusion, the intensity of the environmental damages has reached its peak, so individual efforts cannot change it significantly. In fact, large organizations and governments should resolve the issue because they are responsible for most of the damages, and they have the means to control it.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add a complete verb Original: exacerbating Suggested revision: worsening Why it matters: “Exacerbate” is normally transitive, whereas “worsening” correctly describes the crisis itself.
- 2. Use uncountable damage Original: damages Suggested revision: damage Why it matters: “Damage” is uncountable when referring generally to environmental harm.
- 3. Use a generic plural Original: the government, international organisations and big corporations Suggested revision: governments, international organisations and large corporations Why it matters: The argument concerns governments generally, so the first noun should be plural like the others.
- 4. Fix determiner agreement Original: this ever-increasing global warming and environmental issues Suggested revision: these escalating environmental problems Why it matters: The singular determiner “this” cannot grammatically introduce the coordinated plural idea.
- 5. Avoid an absolute phrase Original: pay all the money Suggested revision: provide sufficient funding Why it matters: The revision expresses the intended financial responsibility without the illogical absolute “all the money.”
- 6. Use the natural verb Original: reinstate Suggested revision: restore Why it matters: “Restore” is the standard verb for returning a damaged environment to a better state.
- 7. Fix countability and agreement Original: industrial wastes are Suggested revision: industrial waste is Why it matters: “Waste” is uncountable in this general sense and therefore takes a singular verb.
- 8. Use cause precisely Original: the key reason for Suggested revision: a key cause of Why it matters: “Cause of” is the more precise collocation for environmental collapse.
- 9. Use the percentage collocation Original: it comprises 70% Suggested revision: it accounts for 70% Why it matters: “Accounts for” correctly expresses the proportion attributed to industrial waste.
- 10. Use uncountable pollution Original: pollutions Suggested revision: pollution Why it matters: “Pollution” is uncountable when referring to environmental contamination generally.
- 11. Use a natural construction Original: made liable to invest Suggested revision: required to invest Why it matters: “Required to invest” states the obligation clearly and idiomatically.
- 12. Clarify the reference Original: to reverse it Suggested revision: in reversing this damage Why it matters: The revision supplies the correct preposition after “invest” and identifies what should be reversed.
Suggested Rewrites
- exacerbating worsening
- damages damage
- the government, international organisations and big corporations governments, international organisations and large corporations
- this ever-increasing global warming and environmental issues these escalating environmental problems
- pay all the money provide sufficient funding
- reinstate restore
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response establishes a clear position and supports it with relevant discussion of industrial responsibility, international effects, and the greater capacity of institutions to act. However, its reasoning sometimes relies on sweeping or insufficiently explained claims, while awkward word choices and the absence of paragraph breaks weaken precision and readability. The priority is to organize the main arguments into distinct paragraphs and develop each claim with careful, credible explanation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the question directly and develops relevant reasons for assigning primary responsibility to governments and large organizations.
Qualify broad factual claims and explain more precisely why institutional action is more effective than individual action.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a broadly logical sequence, but presenting the entire response as one paragraph obscures the separation of its main ideas.
Use distinct introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs, with each body paragraph centred on one clearly developed reason.
Lexical Resource
The response displays good range, but recurrent inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce precision despite generally clear meaning.
Replace awkward expressions such as pluralized uncountable nouns and imprecise environmental terms with natural academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex sentences is attempted successfully, though agreement, reference, and noun-form errors recur across the response.
Proofread complex sentences for subject-verb agreement, pronoun reference, and countable versus uncountable noun forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The environmental problems that today's world is facing are so great that there is little ordinary people can do to improve the situation. So governments and large organizations should be responsible for reducing the amount of damage being done to the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.