In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
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Sample Response
We cannot deny the fact that rural people moving to cities has become a prevalent trendbecame a prevalent trend globally, which leads to some arguments. However, as far as the size of the labour forceamount of labour force, knowledge sharingthe spread of experiences and rural depopulation are concerned, I strongly believe that such a trend is overall positive.
Rural people can help meet the demand for labourdemand of labor in cities. As for educated graduates from towns and villages who have completed secondary or tertiary educationwho receive education including secondary or college, they may get accustomed to a respectful and culturally diverse environmentrespectful and diverse cultural environment in cities with plenty of opportunities if they can settle thereif they could root there. To elaborate, these fresh graduates who seek well-paid job positionsposition will easily be attracted by salary and other conditions such as insurance and paid leave, leading rural talents to prefer movingprefer to moving to urban areas due to the demand of improving living standards. Consequently, these people are employed in distinct sectors such as service industries alleviating the structural shortage of labour in cities.
Rural people with specific skills can help practical knowledge transfer and enrich academic researchexperience cultivation and deepen understanding of academy. Regarding skilled workers and farmers,they may convey their skills and experiences in agriculture and industries to urban factories and researchers who specialize in cropcrops cultivation. To be more specific, their invaluable experience could be collected as the first-hand information, which has potential impact on the study of current weather and crops, leading to a breakthrough in academic researchbreakthrough of academic study. Meanwhile, skilled workers could help improve efficiency in factories, for instance, they could point out unnecessary steps and recommend eliminating themthe unnecessary process and advise to delete that. It may help workers eliminate complex processesget rid of complex process and motivate them to work hard.
Admittedly, there are some negative results caused by this phenomenon, such as workforce shortage in rural areas and congestion in cities; however, these could be solved properly. Governments ought to regulate the use of private vehicles and build a comprehensive public transportation systemcomprehensive public transportation system. Also, governments could encourage companies or individuals to integrate fields and mechanise farming practicesupgrade with mechanical tools to maximize the efficiency.
In conclusion,the shift of rural people towards cities can benefit urban areascould beneficial urban areas in workforce, academy and production process. Although there are some issues, they could be solved accordingly.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a clear and consistent position arguing that rural-to-urban migration is predominantly positive, supporting the main arguments with logical examples. However, grammatical errors and awkward phrasing occasionally disrupt the flow and precise expression of complex ideas. Focusing on sentence structure accuracy and refining vocabulary precision will elevate the overall quality of writing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The candidate presents a clear thesis and maintains a definite stance throughout the response, supported by relevant main points.
Ensure all supporting arguments, such as how rural workers assist urban academic research, directly and logically reinforce the core thesis.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organized into distinct paragraphs with clear central themes and appropriate transition markers.
Improve sentence-to-sentence cohesion and ensure consistent spacing around punctuation marks to polish the visual progression.
Lexical Resource
A good variety of topic-specific vocabulary is used effectively to explain concepts related to urbanization and employment.
Refine word choices and collocations to replace imprecise expressions like 'deepen understanding of academy' or 'beneficial urban areas'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is attempted, though minor grammatical errors occur frequently throughout the essay.
Focus on verb pattern accuracy, such as avoiding structures like 'prefer to moving' or using adjectives in place of verbs like 'could beneficial'.