The government and individuals are spending too much money on national celebrations like the new year or festivals. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Government expenditureThe government expenditure on cultural occasions has seen a substantial but gradual increasegradual albeit substantial rise over the last few years. This has resulted in a shortagedeficiency of funds for investment in vital sectorssegments of the economy. I agree thatagree with the fact that government resources should be utilized more judiciously and spending on celebrations should be curbed. In the following paragraphs, I will explain my views on the issuetopic of the essay.
Firstly, the needrequirement for development in various sectors of the nation is increasing steadilywith each passing day. Education, healthcare and public infrastructure are domains that are in dire need of government funding to improve their poor conditiontheir appalling circumstances. Secondly, if the annual budget of the government is stretched thin by spending on celebrationscelebratory expenses, grave complications are bound to arise. Thus, the authorities should preparedevise the budget more cautiously so that the allocation of fundsthe supply of capital is equitable.
Moreover, traditional festivals often involve the use of materials that have harmful effects on the environment. Therefore, when such events are held on a massive scale, the use of hazardous items also escalates, leadingescalates leading to detrimental effects on the environmentoutcomes on nature. On that account, if the administration reduces the scale of these eventsreduces the degree of these ventures, the negative consequences can be significantly reducedrestrained significantly.
However, the joy and harmony that cultural events and festivals bringfestivals bring along have to be acknowledged. These festivities are a magnificent meansavenue of bringing all members of the community together in celebration. Nevertheless, sustainable ways of hosting such eventsoccurrences need to be found to avoid excessive spendingmonetary overspending.
In conclusion, I would like to say that the importance of national-level functions and the resources to host them have grown lately. The administration has to devise smart and efficient ways to find a cost-effective solutiondiscover an economic solution to these financial constraintssuch financial limitations.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response has a clear stance, orderly paragraphing, and a useful range of ideas about public priorities, environmental harm, and communal benefits. Its main limitation is incomplete task coverage: the prompt refers to both governments and individuals, but the discussion concentrates almost entirely on government expenditure, while several claims remain general. The highest-priority improvement is to address individual spending explicitly and develop each reason with a concrete, directly relevant example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is presented and supported with several relevant ideas, but individual spending is largely omitted and development is sometimes general.
Add a developed argument about personal expenditure on celebrations and support both sides with specific examples or consequences.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a logical paragraph structure and uses cohesive markers effectively, although progression is occasionally formulaic.
Use more meaning-based transitions between claims and make the conclusion directly synthesise the preceding arguments.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of topic vocabulary, but several ambitious collocations are imprecise or unnatural.
Choose more natural combinations, such as allocating a budget, environmental harm, and cost-effective solutions, instead of inflated phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is used with generally good control, despite occasional article, agreement, and clause-linking weaknesses.
Review article use and agreement in longer sentences, and punctuate participial clauses such as those beginning with 'leading' more carefully.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The government and individuals are spending too much money on national celebrations like the new year or festivals. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.