Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discus both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Nowadays, it is acknowledged that sport professionals earn huge salaries that exceed other respected professionals by far. This situation has sparked a heated debate with opinions on both sides, in favor and against.
Some people argue that is irresponsible to pay such amount of money to people who has just borned with a natural gift to play certain sport. They believe this is unfair for other professionals that spent several years studying hard and have to deal with really serious situations daily. Doctors, engineers, fire fighters among others, are clear examples of this unbalanced situation. Furthermore, we are setting a bad example for the youngsters as they grow up witnessing how our society do not reward the hard work.
Nevertheless, other people assert that athletes deserve their salary. They have a very short career, as can only play at highest performance during very limited amount of years. Normally sport players above thirty five are consider old to keep playing professionally. Moreover, they have a big responsibility as are requested to perform their best in every single game. It is their job to strive until see their team win, there are millions of dollars involved in each game. Companies invest a lot of money to sponsor teams and this creates an extra pressure on the players.
In a nutshell, I believe that athletes deserve a huge compensation for their work. Even though it is true that they have been naturally gifted however they still need to train hard every day to perform their best and help the sponsors to boost their brand value hence increasing the selling.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Complete the contrast Original: opinions on both sides, in favor and against Suggested revision: arguments both for and against it Why it matters: The original phrase lacks an object after ‘against’ and expresses the contrast awkwardly.
- 2. Add missing subject Original: argue that is Suggested revision: argue that it is Why it matters: The clause after ‘that’ requires the subject pronoun ‘it’.
- 3. Add article and modifier Original: such amount of money Suggested revision: such a large amount of money Why it matters: The singular countable phrase ‘amount of money’ requires an article after ‘such’.
- 4. Fix verb agreement Original: has Suggested revision: have Why it matters: The plural antecedent ‘people’ requires the plural verb ‘have’.
- 5. Fix passive form Original: just borned Suggested revision: simply been born Why it matters: The present-perfect passive form requires ‘been born’, not ‘borned’.
- 6. Add singular article Original: certain sport Suggested revision: a particular sport Why it matters: A singular countable use of ‘sport’ requires an article.
- 7. Fix unfair collocation Original: for Suggested revision: to Why it matters: The adjective ‘unfair’ takes ‘to’ when identifying the people disadvantaged.
- 8. Fix relative clause Original: that spent Suggested revision: who have spent Why it matters: Use ‘who’ for people and the present perfect for time extending to their current careers.
- 9. Mark parenthetical phrase Original: fire fighters among others, Suggested revision: fire fighters, among others, Why it matters: The parenthetical phrase ‘among others’ must be enclosed by commas.
- 10. Choose concise noun Original: unbalanced situation Suggested revision: imbalance Why it matters: ‘Imbalance’ conveys the unequal rewards more concisely and precisely.
- 11. Use neutral wording Original: the youngsters Suggested revision: young people Why it matters: ‘Young people’ is more neutral and appropriate for formal academic writing.
- 12. Fix verb agreement Original: do Suggested revision: does Why it matters: The collective noun ‘society’ is singular here and requires ‘does’.
Suggested Rewrites
- opinions on both sides, in favor and against arguments both for and against it
- argue that is argue that it is
- such amount of money such a large amount of money
- has have
- just borned simply been born
- certain sport a particular sport
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response addresses both views and states a clear opinion, with a logical four-paragraph structure and several relevant reasons about career length, social value, and commercial pressure. Its main limitation is frequent grammatical inaccuracy, especially missing subjects, agreement, articles, and verb forms, which makes many sentences awkward; the highest-priority improvement is to proofread sentence structures systematically so complex ideas are expressed accurately and fluently.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response discusses both positions and gives a clear opinion, with relevant reasons that are generally developed but sometimes remain broad.
Support each view with a more specific explanation or example showing why social contribution or career conditions justify the pay judgment.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph organisation creates clear overall progression, though some linking is mechanical and several sentences are loosely connected internally.
Separate overloaded clauses and use clearer reference words so each supporting point follows smoothly from the previous one.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient for the topic and includes some less common expressions, but inaccurate word forms and collocations recur.
Replace forms such as borned, sport professionals, and increasing the selling with accurate, natural alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but frequent errors with subjects, agreement, articles, and verb forms reduce control.
Check every clause for an explicit subject and a correctly inflected verb before adding subordinate or linking structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discus both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.